Years ago, there was a group of us who used to get for coffee every week.  We were all stay at home mom’s (well, I was a stay at home preggo at that point… the benefits of a cruddy pregnancy and not being able to work), and so Leigh-Anne, Nic, and I would all invade Crystal’s house, put our feet up, gossip, share, commiserate, and relax.

One-by-one, everyone gradually went back to work.  Except me – I’m still the lazy bum.

We still try to get together for the occasional lunch or an evening of cardmaking, but schedules make it hard.

I’ve really been missing that, the longer I stay a home.

So about a month ago, Crystal decided to resurrect the coffee time.   It’s a new group of ladies; people we’ve met on Twitter.  But every other Saturday, we troupe over to a nice coffee shop in the south of Calgary and chill.

These fabulous ladies;

• Crystal, our fearless organizer, supplier of Avon brochures (which is why we call our coffee dates ‘#brochuresniffing’….don’t judge), bringing of pretty jewelery to play with, and fellow coffee snob.  Fun fact:  for some reason we haven’t figured out, Vista insists on calling her oldest daughter ‘Princess’.
• Jackie - she’s one of those people who walk in to a room and you can’t help but smile at.  Last week she showed up with the CUTEST crocheted cap that she had made for Vista.  So sweet.
  
• At the last coffee day, Danielle braved the waters and came out to join us.  This woman is what it is to be classy.  I want to be her if I ever grow up.  Oh, and I may have been totally coveting the scarf she was wearing.  If I could have figured out a way to get it off her, I probably would have… but don’t tell her that, mmmkai?

Now it’s your turn. Create your own coffee tweetup. It’s a great way to get out for a few hours and make some fab new friends. Then you’ll have some great picks for your own Follow Friday post, too.

If you’d like to play along , then link up, and if you’re so inclined, grab a badge.

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Weird things irritate me.

Tags on shirts and pants?  Are stupid in this day and age.  Get rid of them.

Asking me for a favor then bitching because I didn’t do it just right?  Get bent.  And the next time you ask for a favor?  I’m going to be busy.

Whinging about how you can hardly make your mortgage payment with an iced-quad-venti-no-whip-skinny Caramel Macchiato in one hand and smoke in the other while leaning on your new car? Forgive me if I roll my eyes and give you the finger while I suggest you sit and spin.

And the one I just encountered while on a call with my mother:  Inviting me over for dinner and then telling me what main course I can bring?  That not only irritates me, but falls into the realm of completely obtuse and extremely bad manners.

Apparently my sister-in-law has decided that she and my brother are hosting Easter dinner this year and called my mom to have her phone and ‘invite’ us (I put that in quotes, because it’s only an invitation if you can actually turn it down).

You’ll have to excuse me while I try to contain my annoyance excitement.

And of course, this dinner will be, for the sole convenience, as always, of her family, on a Sunday.

Which will mean we have to cancel V’s respite for that day in order to drag her to a house she’s never been in,  full of people she doesn’t know.

Doesn’t that sound like FUN???    <insert fake enthusiasm and some rah-rah pom-pom cheers here>

And all of that?  I could deal with.

But the fact they have gleefully announced that they are providing turkey AND a ham (wow! <more eye rolling>) but are expecting the rest of their guests to provide the remainder of the meal, irritates me.

I’m sorry.  It does.  And I know it’s stupid to get irritated about something like that.

But I we (because Bil agrees with me on this one wholeheartedly) believe that if you are going to host a dinner that means more than just providing the location.

It means providing the appetizers, apéritifs, main courses, desserts, and a few good bottles of wine. If people *offer* to bring something? Well fine…especially if it’s their ’signature dish’ or something. But I would NEVER be so bold as to expect my guests to provide their own meal.

Yes. Hosting a dinner can be expensive. That? Is not an excuse. If you can’t afford it? Don’t insist on offer to host the meal.

Have manners really degraded so much over the years that this is now an acceptable form of entertaining?

If so, take me back to the days of genteel society and finishing schools.

I was going to post a really hysterically funny video of Vista today. At least Bil and I found it hysterically funny. But then again, it’s well known to the world that we have a sick and twisted sense of humor.

I know, you’re sitting there going ‘OK, well, if this video is so damn funny, where is it??’

Well, here’s the thing.

I’ve decided not to post it.

The video was something along the lines of this, with a little less Will Ferrell, less scripting, and a lot more of me doubled over laughing in the background.

But after having CPS called on us last November, we’re quite frankly a little gun shy about putting anything out there that might smack of anything less than perfect parenting.

And then I think about that and it REALLY. PISSES. ME. OFF.

I’m not perfect.  Show me a parent who is.  And yet, here I am trying to live up to some impossible standard because somebody who knows nothing about me decided he should get some say on how I parent my child.

Now every time I’m out with Vista, I’m crossing my fingers that she doesn’t have a meltdown, and that someone won’t decide to stick there nose into something that is, quite frankly, none of their business.

I’m finding a lot of things don’t get done these days.  If I drive somewhere and Vista falls asleep before we get there?  Rather than wake her up, take her in the store, and chance an outburst, I turn around and go home.  Because?  It’s not worth the risk.

I walk around on egg shells hoping that no one will find fault that’s not there.

And I thought at first it was just in this small town we lived in.  I even tossed the idea around of moving somewhere new.

But then I realized, it’s not the town.  It’s me.  This… thing… has pervaded to the very core of my parenting philosophy.

And now it’s invaded my blog.

It’s like I’m living in Fantasia and being hunted by the Nothing.

This need to censor is at direct odds with the person I am naturally.

I am irreverent.  I am risque, at times.  Ditto for controversial.  That’s who I’ve always been.

I’m not someone to toe the line or follow the norm.

And yet I find myself doing exactly that, because I will do anything to protect my child from ignorant people who think they know more about her than I do.

I have always had my nose stuck in a book.  There’s many a picture of me, from when I was a kid, sitting at a campground during summer holidays curled up with my latest novel, ignoring the beautiful outdoors.

And truth be told, I’m still the same way.  I love books.  It’s the one thing I don’t get nearly enough time for anymore. I would happily sit all day and read book after book after book if I could.  Yeah, I’m a loser and I’m OK with that.  I’m also one giant ball of useless knowledge, so, word of advice – don’t talk to me unless you want to be irritated by random facts.

So with in mind, here are the lovely ladies I think you should rush off and talk to:

• Aidan Donnelley Rowley has an interesting series of posts on whether men and women can just be friends (I say yes) and being friends with exes (I’m friends with many of mine). I seem to be in the minority with my opinions on both posts.  There is a great discussion on these two topics going on in the comments though, that’s well worth chiming in on.  She also just happens to have a book that’s coming out on Vista’s birthday.
• VampireSmitten and rewritingkel have teamed together to start an online book club called Paperback Readers.  So if you’re looking for some awesome ladies to chat with and an excuse to get 5 minutes to yourself (’sorry, Mommy HAS to read this book’), go check it out.

Now it’s your turn. If you’d like to play along , then link up, and if you’re so inclined, grab a badge.

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We were up bright and early this morning.  4:30am early. Which in my opinion is still night time.  No sun, no morning.  I’m all about simple concepts.

Bil tried in vain to convince Vista to go back to bed.  And she actually did lay down for a few minutes.  But the second she heard him leave for work, she came bounding into my room, flipped on the light, and screamed

“GET UP MOMMY”

I may have mumbled something about shutting off the damn light, and ungodly hours, and someone being Satan’s spawn.  But it’s all kind of blurry.

Eventually dragged my carcase from the bedroom to the kitchen, then crawled to the couch, hugging the precious bounty of a cup of caffeine and flipped up my laptop screen.

And the first thing I saw was this

My initial reaction, knowing Nic like I do, was …

Uh…WTF?!?

I figured maybe her husband had started slipping something into her coffee after her call to him the other day.

Turns out it was a total false alarm and she’s still crazy.  *phew*

But, in my sleep deprived state, the word rainbow stuck in my head, kind of like one those irritating songs that get stuck in your head.  Like going through the ‘It’s a Small World‘ ride at Disney Land and then you’re humming that stupid tune for the rest of the day and you want to repeatedly stab yourself with an ice pick to make it stop.  Hypothetically speaking, course.

Luckily I remembered seeing someone in my blog reader had made some really cute rainbow cupcakes the other day, so I spent half an hour flipping through old posts looking for this.

And because I’m a glutton for punishment, V and I spent the afternoon covered in cake batter and food coloring!

Now could someone please come eat them, because I can feel my ass getting bigger just looking at them.

I can admit when I’m wrong. Only because it happens so rarely. I mean, everyone knows I’m like the next Mary Poppins – practically perfect in every way. (Stop snickering or I’ll beat you with my umbrella)

Well, yesterday I was wrong, not once, but twice. I KNOW! Mark the day on your calendar because it will never happen again.

I publicly stated that I was sure that the EEG we had slated for Vista yesterday would come back as normal. Same as the other two had. I mean, for one of those, they had her hooked up for 24 hours and it was perfectly normal. Why would I have any reason to believe they’d see anything different on a half hour EEG? Especially since we weren’t able to get her to sleep during it, like they needed. All that sleep deprivation for nothing.  Can we say cranky? (Me, not her).

But… wait for it….I was wrong. What little bit of the EEG they were able to do came back abnormal, showing spikes of electrical activity coming from the back of her brain.

I’m pretty sure my jaw made a nice clunking sound as it hit the floor when her neurologist told me.

To say I was not expecting that is an understatement.

Which led to being wrong a second time in one day.

I was positive that we’d get the nice shrug from the neurologist accompanied by the words ‘Welllll… we don’t know.  Call us if her seizures get any worse”, as they sent us home again.

I got the first part right.  Does that count?

They used words like ‘odd’ and ‘unique’ to describe V’s seizures.  Yeah, my kid’s all sorts of special.  But I already knew that.

What they think is happening is Vista will have a seizure, which causes loss of speech, motor skills, and behavioral issues.  Then two to four weeks later she’s having another seizure that resets whatever the first seizure did and returns her to back to where she was before the first seizure. Did you follow that?  Let me put it in simple terms.  It’s like flipping a light switch on and off. And on. And off. And on.  And off…and…yeah, well, you get the point.

The problem is, we’re lucky if we see maybe a third of the seizures we think she’s having (which is why it’s taken so long to puzzle this out), because they happen at night, while she’s sleeping.  Which could be why she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming sometimes.  Ever wondered what a banshee sounds like?  Come for a sleepover.

At any rate…

The abnormal EEG combined with the level of regression from her last seizure had her neurologist concerned.  Very concerned.  Concerned enough that, for now, they’ve decided to put her on anti-seizure meds.

Luckily the medication they chose (clobazam) has fairly mild side effect.  Stuff like ataxia, somnolence, diplopia, and dysarthria. Don’t those sound scary? Let me translate: loss of muscle coordination, drowsiness, double vision, and slurred speech. So, in other words, she might act like a teenager on a bender. Yay.

The best part is, they told me this drug is part of the benzodiazepine family. Also know as? Anyone?
That’s right, my two year old is on Valium! I’m thinking we’ll try for Xanax by the time she’s three.

Let’s give the boys a haaaaaaaaand……

Yeah, I know you all have the urge to go watch Footloose now… sorry about that.  Well, not really, cause I’m kind of a bitch like that.

And speaking of bitches, I figure I give my fellow bitches and beotches enough props on here, it was time to give it up for the men this week.

• wfehler - I would say follow him for the simple goodness of this tweet, but he really is a lot of fun to chat with
• jayincalgary - He totally deserves your sympathy now that he’s working with Bil.  As if having me harass him wasn’t enough, now he’s forced to talk to my husband face-to-face every day.  Poor guy.
• And no list would be complete without the evil duo of the brothers childsplayx2 and bjhenry.  Funny, compassionate, both a little bit crazy, and both very worth a follow.

Short, sweet, to the point.  That’s how you do a Follow Friday. 
If you’d like to play along , then link up, and if you’re so inclined, grab a badge.

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We have these wonderful things out here called a Chinook.

On Chinook days it will go from “Oh dear gawd I’m going to freeze my nipples off!” to “Hey, is it legal to go topless?” in a matter of a few hours. In terms of actual degrees, think 0C (32F) to 20C (68F). Yeah, radical.

While the sudden warm weather (minus the accompanying migraine ) is a nice change, there are some side effects… muddy, dirty, wet side effects.

Because sudden warm weather melts all that lovely snow that’s been sitting in my backyard. And melts it in a hurry.

Which means my quarter acre winter wonderland turns into a giant lake. A muddy, dirty, wet lake that two dogs and a toddler want to go play in. (and if you ever come over to my house you’ll understand why my floors are perpetually muddy in the spring).

With this latest thaw, and the fact the dogs have worn out the grass at the bottom of the deck, there’s a nice mud… well it’s not a puddle because there’s no water.  It’s just a big mud pit.

When Vista wanted to go out this afternoon, I first had to get her over the “Oh no!  Oh no, Mommy!  Mud!!”.  And then… well, it’s easier just to show you what happened next.

Needless to say, Bil is picking up some paving stones for that bottom area on his way home

I’m seeing this more and more.

The feeling of ‘I wanted to say something, but couldn’t come up with anything witty to say, so I didn’t say anything at all’.

I’m guilty of this.

I’ve typed many a tweet and blog comment and then just before hitting that post button, I’ve deleted it because I didn’t feel it added anything to the conversation.

And I find myself doing that more and more. This self-censoring.

But why do we put such pressure on ourselves? Why does everything we write have to be just perfect, better than the other persons comment, tweet, whatever ?

Honestly, I’m happy to have any blog comment. Even if it’s just one that says ‘hey I was here and I liked this post’.

I don’t ever read my comments or tweets and think ‘Wow…why did they even bother writing that?’.

To me it doesn’t matter if what someone has written is witty, smart, funny, profound.

What matters more is that they felt it was worth taking the time to comment or reply at all. And that means a lot.

I decided to do double duty with this post this week.  Jen at The Psychobabble nominated me for a Sunshine award.

The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity & creativity inspires others in the blog world.  The rules for accepting this award are:-

• Put the logo on your blog or within your post.
• Pass the award onto 12 bloggers.
• Link the nominees within your post.
• Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
• Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

I’ve never been really good at following instructions, so here are a few of favorite follows / great blog posts I read this week.

• DuchessMama - It’s her birthday today (Happy Birthday love!!) AND she’s about to have a baby any day now.  Double win!  Oh, and she’s stuck putting up with my sorry ass as a roomie at BlogHer this year.  Poor thing.
• Jennscrzy - Has a great post on facing the frustration and the feeling of failure that comes with being an at-home mom, some days
• pocklock - Brought up a really good point in one of her posts this week – Are you more forgiving and tolerant of people on the interwebz than in real life?
• Messponential - I know she was on my Follow Friday list just a couple of weeks ago, but her Girl Talk Thursday post this week spoke to me.  Her and I tend to be of the same mind on a lot of things.  And only Colleen could do a ‘bitch rant’ and have it still come off as classy.
• Chibi Jeebs - If you need a good laugh today, go read about the time she burned her cooter. Seriously.  I was rolling on the floor laughing.

If you’d like to play along on Follow Friday, than link up, and if you’re so inclined, grab a badge.

*smooches*

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