When Phd = Phucking Horrible Doctor

I thought my first post back after BlogHer@Home was going to be a wonderful “we had such a good time, thanks everyone, thanks sponsors” touchy-feely post.  I did sit down to start writing one this morning.

Yeah, that was before my morning turned to crap thanks to a doctor who has her head so far up her ass I’m sure she can see her own tonsils.

A bit of background here.  (And if you don’t like TMI, skip this paragraph).  Vista suffers from chronic constipation and, unfortunately, sometimes her bowels get completely blocked and back up into her stomach, which then causes her to throw up.  A lot.  The past couple weeks we’ve been trying again to slowly ween her off formula and onto rice milk.  The previous two times we tried the switch resulted in a bowel blockage, so we were trying a very slow introduction this time.  Well, it didn’t work.  So we’ve been dealing with a bit of puking the past few days while we get her sorted again.

So… on to idiot doctor story.  We were supposed to have an appointment with Dr.C today to have some assessments done for Vista to try and access some resources in the big city that aren’t available to us, living in a small town.  Half an hour before we were to leave, though, Vista started throwing up.  So I called the doctors office and apologized profusely saying “I’m so sorry.  I know this is short notice, but Vista is throwing up, so there’s no way I can make the hour drive into the city.”

No big deal, right?  Yeah, you would think.  Well receptionist puts me on hold and Dr. C gets on the phone.  I start explaining how sorry I am that I can’t make it in.  But driving with a puking two-year-old is out of the question.  The doc quickly cut me off and what she said next made my blood run cold.

“I don’t think you understand the importance of this appointment.  If you miss this appointment no one is going to want to help you.  And quite frankly, I am deeply, deeply concerned.  It is critical that you make this appointment today”

<insert me trying, once again, to explain the logistics of a one hour drive in a hot truck with a puking child>

“You have a decision to make.  If you decide not to attend this appointment, then I have no choice but to discuss this with **** {the other person we were meeting with to discuss available resources for Vista} and I really feel we’ll have to contact Children’s Services about this.”

<insert me spluttering going ‘Excuse me???? Children’s Services???  For WHAT???>

“You are obviously in denial and I am deeply, deeply concerned.  If you decide not to make this appointment then it shows your refusal to get help for you and your daughter and I feel that Children’s Services will need to be informed”

She signed off the call by telling me that there would be a $50 cancellation fee and would I like to be invoiced for that.

I hung up the phone and promptly started sobbing hysterically.  She was going to call Children’s Services on me??  WTF?  Was I not the mother that stayed by her child’s bedside every night in the hospital?  In fact I’ve never spent more than 6 hours (and never a full night) away from my daughter.  Was I not the mom who pushed the doctors to properly diagnose and treat my daughter’s reflux?  Am I not the mom who’s spent the past year working with specialist of every size, shape, and description working to make sure that all Vista’s milestones are met due to her developmental delays?  Am I not the one who pushed and pushed and finally got an MRI ordered that proved we were right in our suspicion that she had some brain issue causing her delays.  Yeah… And yet you want to call Children’s Services on me?  FOR WHAT?  Fuck you bitch.

We’ve had just recently started the process of switching to a new doctor  (an easy 5minute drive, rather than an hour on the highway).  This new doctor is amazing.  We first met him in the NICU after Vista was born.  He was our favorite resident. So when he told us he was going be starting a family practice in our small town, we were elated.  Unfortunately, due to various factors, that took 2 years.  He’s still managed to see Vista a handful of times over the past two years, and is always great with her.  He also has a background in neuroscience, which is a huge plus for us now with her mid-line brain issues.

So after today’s phone call, I called his receptionist and explained what had happened with the other doc.   My mom came with me and watched V, while Dr. F took his lunch hour to sit down and chat with me about what had happened.  As soon as I mentioned that Vista had been throwing up, he stopped me and asked “Is she OK?  Do you want me to take a look at her?”  I must have looked surprised because his next question was “Didn’t the other doc ask if Vista was OK?”  I realized that at no time had my other doctor even inquired if Vista was alright.  She had absolutely no interest in anything other than us making that appointment.  The reason for this became abundantly clear when Bil called old doc and told her to transfer all our files to Dr.F and the first thing the bitch starts in on is a schedule of fees.  It’s all about the money with her.  Nothing more.

Dr. F listened, took notes, and assured me that I had nothing to worry about.  He had watched Bil and I advocate for Vista in a variety of arenas over the past two years.  If anyone called me from Children’s services I was to direct the call to his office and he would take care of it.  It was so amazing to feel listened to.  Once we were done he walked with me out into the waiting room.  Mom and Vista had gone out to walk around so he grabbed his shoes and told the other patient in the waiting room “Sorry, I’ll be right back.  There’s a little girl I have to say hi to”.  Once we found them, he immediately knelt down to Vista’s level and started talking to her about the flowers she had picked (I don’t even want to know from where) and how pretty they smelled and how they matched her shoes.  He is just such an amazing doctor and we feel so lucky to have found him.

Two doctors. The same medical program from the same university.  One is all about the money.  The other is all about the patients.  Take a guess  who will never see a red cent from me or anyone I know.

*addendum: I’m really, strongly considering filing a formal complaint with our Health Region.  I feel this doctor tried to bully me into an appointment when it was not in the best interest of my child.  Threatening a mother with Children’s Services is just low.  And slimy.  And something no RESPECTABLE doctor would do. *

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27 Responses to When Phd = Phucking Horrible Doctor

  • I know a doctor who is exactly like she is – she only sees dollar signs and nothing else – its pathetic. I’m so glad that you were able to switch to this new doctor – he sounds amazing. If I were you, I absolutely would file a complaint. She had no right to threaten you with CS.
    .-= Maria @BOREDmommy´s last blog ..Childhood Clothing =-.

  • RJ Flamingo says:

    When we were tweeting about this, this afternoon, I ran out of time before I was able to make that very suggestion. I would strongly consider filing some sort of complaint with your State Board, and whatever other overseeing body in your area. That kind of behavior from a doctor – ANY doctor – is unconscionable! She can go fuck herself.
    .-= RJ Flamingo´s last blog ..Ten Words =-.

  • Bil Simser says:

    To add further insult to injury when I called Dr. Dipshit to find out why my wife was sobbing hysterically on the phone to me, the only thing out of mouth was “meeting, important, blah, blah, blah”. No mention of Vista how is she or any concern for *her* but rather the concern was more about “forests and trees” and how “we” were not seeing the big picture. Let me tell you I told her point blank “When it comes to Vista, she *is* the tree, and the forest and the whole [fucking] planet” and that *she* was my main concern. BTW, the $50 cancellation fee for the missed appointment magically turned into $100 when I talked to her. I only wonder when I get the bill after Dr. F talks to her if it’ll grow to $200. Yeah, like Jenn said one doctor focused on $$$ and other focused on the patient. Needless to say we will *not* be dealing with Ms. Moneybags again. Evar!
    .-= Bil Simser´s last blog ..Happy Birthday CodePlex! =-.

  • Ali says:

    I would definitely file a formal complaint, to the state board, your insurance carrier, her supervisor (or whoever oversees the offices where she practices), and make it public…even write a letter to the editor for their local paper…get the word out. I made the mistake of not doing this when our ped. almost cost us our son’s life, and she is still practicing, and sharing an office with our NEW FAVORITE Pediatrician, who had the misfortune of being transferred from another location AFTER we fell in love with him.

  • Sarah C says:

    It amazes me that you hear about this more and more. When we lived in Podunk we went through 4 pediatricians before we found one an hour away that was good. I fired one who suggested that I should starve my newborn to make him take a bottle. Doctors, especially those who work with children, should realize that life doesn’t always go as planned, sometimes appointments need to be cancelled. My husband is a doctor who has had to call CPS and it haunts him every time, he never would threaten it lightly. I would highly suggest filing a complaint with the medical board.

  • Della says:

    I hope you do file a formal complaint. And I hope baby V starts feeling better!
    .-= Della´s last blog ..…and stuff. =-.

  • Anne says:

    Jenn, I would have done the same thing. I also would not have been nice to the bad Dr. and told her exactly where she could shove her threat to call child protective services. Glad you have a great Dr. for V now!
    .-= Anne´s last blog ..Prayers for Stellan =-.

  • cindy w says:

    OMG yes please file a complaint against that other doctor. And write her up on RateMD or any of those sites that let you review doctors and other healthcare providers.

    (While you’re there, make sure you give a positive review to your new doc, since he could probably use it if he’s young & starting a new practice.)

    Good luck, hope V is all better very soon. Nothing worse than a sick kiddo.
    .-= cindy w´s last blog ..my little BlogHer recap =-.

  • becky says:

    yes totally file a complaint. eff them and the horse they rode in on. i’m sorry your day was so bad! how horrible.
    .-= becky´s last blog ..I can’t take it =-.

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  • I would ABSOLUTELY report the bitch….I’d also talk to the media. And maybe mention to your insurance company how this doctor is trying to scam fees with patients. And also…arson? Too far maybe?
    .-= Why Mom Drinks Rum´s last blog ..We didn’t see the crash…but there was one! =-.

  • AmazingGreis says:

    What an asshat. Sorry you had to go through that.
    .-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..3 days… =-.

  • Keely says:

    I’ve no idea how I ended up on your blog this morning, but I’m really really sorry you had to go through that. I think you should file the complaint. Some doctors like to use their ‘position’ to intimidate people and all too often, it works.
    .-= Keely´s last blog ..The universe just shifted everything into alignment, or maybe it’s the wine: Random Tuesday Thoughts =-.

  • You my darling, do NOT need to deal with such a nasty fucking doctor in the first place. How horrible and how so very low to talk to you like that an immediately threaten child services on you because you are concerned about taking your daughter out of the house because of the continuous puking.

    Wow, horrid. So glad you are getting a new doctor, and yes… I would be filing a big long nasty complaint with your health department… you do NOT threaten child services to a mother who has clearly been through hell and back and done everything possible in order to protect and take care of her daughter.


  • Ashlee says:

    I’m so sorry for you. I can tell from your blog and from twitter that you are a loving mother and that doctor threatening you is completely unfounded. It sounds like a power trip on her part. You are a great Mommy. I’m so glad you have a doctor now that isn’t immature and has your daughter’s best interests at heart. I hope you get answers and that your baby girl gets to feeling better soon!
    .-= Ashlee´s last blog ..I am….. =-.

  • you know my thoughts on this… just wanted to say i love you.
    .-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..thoughts for the day… =-.

  • I definitely think you need to file a formal complaint. I am very sorry you had to go through this. We have had this threatened before on us as well. The doctor never followed through. It was just a threat to force us to comply to her wishes. I had a new doctor the next day.
    .-= Beautiful Wreck´s last blog ..Beautiful Wreck’s First Give Away! =-.

  • Lu ~ @masmom says:

    Damn it that really gets me boiling. THEY put themselves and money before Vista and that is not cool. I am so sorry that you are not only dealing with a child that needs medical treatment, you are also dealing with asshats. I really, really hope that this new doctor is not only supportive but also has some good treatment ideas. Hugs to you guys.
    .-= Lu ~ @masmom´s last blog ..Early That Day =-.

  • Chrissy S ~ @nuggiebug says:

    I am so glad you found a good doctor. No patient should have to deal with a doctor like your last one – it’s inexcusible. Particularly a parent with a sick child. She should be so deeply ashamed she should close up her practice! I hope your little one is feeling better soon, and that you never have to deal with Dr. Greedy again!

  • did i comment yet? i don’t even know anymore.

    i love you.
    .-= Sara @heartmychloe´s last blog .. =-.

  • avasmommy says:

    Oh honey, I’m sorry I missed all of this. It’s unthinkable that a person whose oath states “first do no harm” would behave in such a way.

    I hope you find the right person or governing body to complain to and let them know how she behaved.

    At the same time, I am so glad you have another, wonderful doctor to turn to.

    My boss knows a guy in Montana who will do *anything* for a box of Velveeta, if you get my drift. :)
    .-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Howdy, Partner! =-.

  • Jodee says:

    First of all Big (hug) I am so sorry that Dr was a big ass and so glad you found such a great caring Dr!! Give that little girl a hug for me!
    .-= Jodee´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

  • Melodie says:

    You should definitely complain. I work in health care, in mental health, and whereas it’s not just about the money so much, the ratio of docs and nurses doing it for the patients to those who hate their job or are wrapped up in procedure and protocol rather than the bigger picture of helping the patient, makes me sick. People who focus on checking off boxes instead of patient welfare need to take off their blinders or get their heads out of their asses and remember why perhaps they went into the health care field in the first place. I’m glad you have a new and much better sounding doctor.

  • melissa says:

    As mother’s we try to do what’s best for our kids. We pick a doctor and we trust that persons guidance through these years. It’s hard enough that you and little V are going through this tummy trouble , the last thing you need is this doctor running their mouth about what type of mother they think you are.

    From the way you talk about V. We all know by the way you talk about V and the kindness you show towards other, SHE IS DEAD WRONG.

    It amazes me how a couple of letters after ones name can make someone feel they are more powerful than a mother’s instinct. I’m glad you found a new doc.

  • Jenn says:

    Thank you so much for all your support all of you. I can’t tell you how much it means with me. We have decided to file a complaint and are just trying to get in touch with the governing board now. They don’t seem to interested in talking to me, so we’ll see.

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  • Crystal says:

    I’m behind on my blogs so i missed this (and ened up confused by your tweets) but I ABSOLUTELY would make that formal complaint. I have a LOT of disgust for the healthcare in this city, but that just takes the cake.
    .-= Crystal´s last blog ..Green and Copper Tendril Glass Pendant =-.

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