The Next WWE Diva

I’ve always held this theory about kids.  The cuter they are, the more evil they turn out to be.  So far my darling Vista isn’t turning out to be an exception to this rule.  Extra cute, with a side of exceedingly spoiled, add a dash of attitude, a splash of stubbornness, with a midline brain defect for good measure, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I’m currently sporting the latest look in forehead bumps after she headbutted me while I was taking her out of the bathtub. Yes, it was a calculated move on her part.  Yes, it hurt.  Yes, I’m a big pansy. What of it?

Bil and I have been struggling for a couple months with how to control these outbursts.  She will be cuddling with you and then suddenly hit you.  She bites when she gets frustrated (that one we nipped in the bud as soon as it cropped up, so now we’re only dealing with her biting things and not people).  If you try to stop her from hitting, or throwing things, it only amplifies the outbursts.

wwe The Next WWE DivaPart of this I know is just her being two years old (thank you terrible twos) and coming from two very stubborn, opinionated, independent parents (damn you genetics!).  The other part of this, we suspect, is coming from her malformed corpus callosum.  We suspect she may have face processing difficulties, which means when you make the ‘mad face’ she doesn’t recognize it as such and smiles and hits you again. At this rate we’ll have the next WWE Diva on our hands in no time (really, is two years old too early to train wrestling moves?)

We’ve tried various methods of dealing with this.  Time outs, restraining, teaching alternatives (“don’t hit, pat nice” which has been semi effective)… you name it.  Nothing seems to be really, truly working.  We’re getting frustrated, she’s getting frustrated.  It’s not a good situation.

So, this is where we turn to the experts (ahh… that would be you, dear internet).

How do I say this?  HAAAAAAALLLLLPPP!  *ahem* Which translated means:  What the hell worked for your kids and what are we doing wrong?

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7 Responses to The Next WWE Diva

  • Lu ~ @masmom says:

    Um, I am sorry I don’t have a lot of advice…I am in a similar situation and I just wanted to let you know that I have just started drinking more. That is all. Please pass on any good advice you get. Mason acts the same way and I recently posted about it too. I don’t know what happens but all of the sudden he is sweet for a few days. It comes in cycles lately. I dunno. Hugs to you guys though, I know it’s really frustrating.
    .-= Lu ~ @masmom´s last blog ..Raising the next Muhammad Ali =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    I hate to say it, but it’s always nice to hear we’re not the only ones dealing with this. It makes me understand why parents resort to spanking sometimes. Perhaps we could stick your Muhammad Ali and my WWE Diva in the ring and let them fight it out for the belt? lol.

  • Lu ~ @masmom says:

    Ha yeah! As for spanking, we just won’t. So just looking him in the eye and telling him what he did wrong and then taking something away or putting him in his room with the gate up, is helping some. Yay for toddler frustrations!
    .-= Lu ~ @masmom´s last blog ..Party like it’s 1999? No thanks. =-.

  • Sara says:

    Wish I had answers for you and I wish your readers had answers for me. I have spanked, I have “not” spanked, I have done time outs, I have put her in her room and I have nothing! I think it makes her more mad when I don’t react. Some day it will be better, right?
    Sorry I am of no help, but do know you are not alone.
    .-= Sara´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

  • melissa says:

    Luckily with out first, Time Out worked! I’m scared now because everyone says the 2nd baby is complete opposite.

    Put her in time out and tell her “you are in time out for hitting” ( I know brilliant right?). I can’t promise she won’t serve you another headbutt, however, just stick with it. If she gets up say “you are in time out” (see less words, I know I”m genious). But basically the third time and forward you should say nothing, just keep her in time out.

    Hold her there if you need too, kids should get a minute for each year old they are.

    Keep rewarding good behavior with praise. You know in a high super excited obnoxious voice…..good girl!!, yes!!! , mama’s girl!!!, awesome, yay and so on)

    Put a blank white piece of paper on the fridge and every time she’s good, give her a sticker to put on the paper. My kid loved this.

    Follow-up late night with copious amounts of alcohol.

    ((hugs))) hope it works
    .-= melissa´s last blog ..bostonmama79: @MyBottlesUp what I meant to say was ADORABLE! =-.

  • Kristen says:

    I wish I knew the answers. Jamison often hits me and/or the husband or himself when he’s angry and nothing seems to help. We’re still doing the time out thing hoping it will work at some point and we have a couple of times spanked when he’s thrown a matchbox car at our heads after being told no repeatedly. I’m just as frustrated. Here’s hoping the terrible twos pass quickly.
    .-= Kristen´s last blog ..I am fat =-.

  • Amanda says:

    For mine, it seemed like the more that they could communicate with words the less that they hit, or dare I say it, bite.

    That said, it’s the 2’s and the 3’s that are the brunt of it – I have sat down my older girls (with them) and basically held them hostage for 2 or 3 minutes and told them, while I looked them straight in the face with a not nice voice to STOP.

    I’ll also admit though that once when my now 10 year old bit me so hard she made blood ooze out that I popped her fanny.

    Believe it or not – that stopped it.

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