My Magic Wand is Broken

When your kids are sick all you want is that magical cure that’s going to make them feel better. Even if it’s just the sniffles, it makes our heart ache to see them so miserable.

Right now I’m having a very difficult time coming to terms with the fact that there might not be a magic cure all for Vista. I’ve been desperate for a doctor to tell me “Oh, just do this and she’ll start sleeping though the night again. Just do this and she won’t spend hours crying hysterically.” But “this” doesn’t exist.

I want to throw a fit and stomp my feet. I want to put my fist through a wall. I want to break something. But I know it’s not going to help.

Yesterday afternoon I put her in her bed and let her cry while I stood in the shower, to drown out the sound of her screams, and sobbed. Because my baby is hurting, and my magic wand is broken, and I can’t figure out how to make it all better.

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20 Responses to My Magic Wand is Broken

  • Cara says:

    Jenn,
    If anyone deserves this elusive magic wand, it is YOU. You are a damn good mama & anyone that has taken the time to get to know you & Vista knows that, without a doubt. You deserve so much more than a magic wand, though. A break, a spa day, a good nights’ sleep. I hope you get it.
    Cara
    .-= Cara´s last blog ..I probably got another cyst as punishment for hitting my kid in public =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    Thanks sweetie. If you were here I would totally take you on a spa day with me.

  • Sarah B says:

    I have a daughter with intractable siezures. I have had to do the same thing that you did, more than once unfortunately. I even think I twittered about it last week some time (it’s not funny but ha ha anyway, right?). I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. It really sucks but you’re not alone. I don’t know if it would make me feel better to have someone tell me that they’ve had to go thru the same hellish frustration that we’ve gone through with our daughter but sometimes it’s nice to know that someone, anyone can relate. I hope you can find some peace.
    Sarah (on twitter it’s: sukisan)

    Jenn Reply:

    Thank you so much Sarah.
    It really does make me feel better to hear that someone else has gone through this same stuff (and survived!)

  • Jeni says:

    I am so sorry that you guys are going through this. I will continue to keep you guys in my thoughts and I sincerely hope they figure out what is going on so that you and your daughter can have some much needed peace. Blessed Be.
    .-= Jeni´s last blog ..If you can’t hold your liquor…. =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    Thanks Jeni! I appreciate all your good thoughts for us!

  • Lu says:

    This makes my heart heavy for you, Vista, and Bil. I know that feeling when you just want to fix it, but can’t. UGH. This also makes me mad to read because I know what you and Bil have gone through and fought for to attept to figure something out. You have done everything in the world in your power, and will continue to. I know it doesn’t help like a magic wand but keep fighting and pushing. I know you will. You are an awesome mama and you can pay her back later when you are a crazy old lady. xoxo
    .-= Lu´s last blog ..Follow Friday Lonesome Dove Edition =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    This totally made me laugh. I think the lack of sleep is turning me into the crazy old lady. I swear if I start finding gray hairs though, I’m going to frickin lose it! ;-)

  • Della says:

    With a new one whose worst problem seems to be bits of bubbly gas (but who explains ALL ABOUT IT when it pains her), I’ve had the tiniest insight into your pain.

    I don’t have enough insight to have anything to say, but to the extent that I can relate, my heart is reaching out to yours and aching with you.
    .-= Della´s last blog ..BABY! (aka oops, I forgot to post) =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    Oh gas pain is horrible. Vista used to get that when she was little. Your poor little baby. My recommendations is Boiron Colic Drops (http://www.boironusa.com/products.aspx?pageid=13&pcat=15&pcat2=&prodid=17). They seriously work wonders and we actually still use them with V when her tummy gets upset.

  • I wish I had an answer. I wish my wand worked too.

    I’m thinking about you guys! XOXOX
    .-= sam {temptingmama}´s last blog ..Taking Back My Life =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    Thanks hon. I wish I had a magic wand to fix the BS you’ve been going through too

  • Colleen says:

    Oh friend if I could only wrap you up in a hug and help you and Vista and Bil. I’ve known frustration with my children but not like this. I’m here for you if you need me. HUGE hug and LOTS of love. (LOTS of it. LOTS!)
    .-= Colleen´s last blog ..Defense =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    Thank you. I’m so privileged to call you friend. I can’t tell you how much your support means to me. Luvs you.

  • I’m so, so sorry.
    .-= maggie, dammit´s last blog ..Class Reunion =-.

  • awww buddy. hugs to you. i hope things get better really soon.
    .-= Karen Sugarpants´s last blog ..Save the Drama For Your Mama =-.

  • Heather says:

    You know, I’m kinda going through much of the same thing—and you know what, there’s nothing that makes it better. No day at the spa. No time alone. No bottle of wine. Because, in the end, the “problem” is still there. No child is a problem, but when you have one with issues, you just want to FIX it, and you can’t. Life is all amok. I’m glad I found you…and I’ll support you all the way! So just know you have somebody in your corner with pom poms and a megaphone!
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Momma said there’d be days like this… =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    You’re so right. Everyone says just take time off, but then you come right back to it. You just want the problem to be GONE once and for all.
    Thank you so much for you support. It really is helpful knowing there someone going through the same sort of stuff who really understands.

  • Ugh. Wish I could send you that coveted magic wand. There is nothing worse than watching your little one suffer.

    “I want to throw a fit and stomp my feet. I want to put my fist through a wall. I want to break something. But I know it’s not going to help.”

    Isn’t it a wee bit unfair that our kids are allowed to throw tantrums and we are supposed to keep it all together?

    Hope your babe is on the mend soon.

  • becky says:

    i hate so much that poor V has to suffer like this. and that you and bil have to deal with not being able to help her. there HAS to be a reason why she’s hurting like this. i hate that they don’t even have a good reason yet. i’m just so sorry.
    .-= becky´s last blog ..Friends =-.

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