Like Mother, Like Daughter
Christmas time, for what ever reason, always makes me think about my relationships with people.
Those that know me well, know I’m adopted.
I was 3 months old when I was adopted and I can’t remember a time that I didn’t know. My parents were always very forthright about it and it was something to be celebrated, not hidden in our house.
When I was 21, through a bizarre series of events, I got the opportunity to meet my birth mother. And eventually her whole family.
I am a classic study of nature vs nurture.
I never really fit into my family growing up. I feel bad for my parents because I was so different from them, they just had no idea what to do with me.
Then I met my birth mom, Deb.
Lets just say the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
I don’t look all that much like her, but personality wise? We are two peas in a pod.
We have the same sarcastic sense of humor.
The same dry wit.
The same irritation with what we view as stupidity.
People who have never met me can pick me out as her daughter within minutes of talking to me.
Weirder still?
My aunt, my birth mother’s youngest sister, and I are practically carbon copies. It freaks people out because we grew up in two different worlds not knowing each other. But we talk the same, have the same mannerisms, the same gestures. Her husband hates when we get together because we finish each others sentences and constantly say the same thing at the same time.
So any scientist says there’s no base for the nature argument with adoptees and that children are a ‘fresh slate’ can bite me.
What made me think of all this was the difference between the two Christmas cards I got from my mom and my birth mom.
In the card my mom sent to Bil and I she wrote in
“Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and all the best for a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year”
The card we got from my birth mom today had the following written in it:
May all your Christmas lights stay lit
May all your presents be a hit
May joy and laughter deck your halls
And may no one bust your Christmas balls
Any questions about who gave birth to me? I thought not.
.-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..i am becoming my mother =-.
This really is fantastic. I have always been amazed by nature v nurture and definitely believe nature plays a much bigger role . You are living proof! It’s wonderful that it works out for you to maintain a relationship with both mothers in your life. Although, to be honest, one more mother in my life may just be the end if me…
Happy Holidays!
.-= Becca´s last blog ..I’m a Super Hero =-.
Ha! Love it!
.-= PsychMamma´s last blog ..Easy Christmas Gift Idea =-.
Awesome. This cracked me up. I can totally hear you saying that.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Embarrassing Moments =-.
That made me laugh out loud! I wasn’t aware you were adopted, so is my hubs, he would love to find his birth parents too..I have no clue where to even start! He also is not much like his adopted family (thank god
Because Jack’s mom is such a heartless bitch, I really hope for my own sake that he is like me in some way….
I adore you.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Today’s Spelling Lesson =-.
hah i had no idea you were adopted but you’re right- classic case of nature vs. nurture. love the card your birth mom sent!
.-= Becky @TheRealBecks´s last blog ..It’s almost Christmas =-.
What an amazing story~!
Wow,that is awesome. I think it’s a wonderful thing when people are reunited with their birth parents.
That is just delightful. hehe
I think both are very accurate, honestly. I think there are some thing we just are, and somethings we become. I’m sure you are a different person than you otherwise would have been had you not had your particular set of parents raising you. Maybe not totally different, but in some ways. Either way, I think your bloody well awesome. 
.-= Kellee´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday Diptych #2: Green =-.
Wow. This post made me so happy for you and your knowing and identifying with your birth family! I’m a birth mother, my son’s adoption was closed, but I wonder so much if he’d be more like me or his birth family — whom he in no way resembles, not at all.
Again, happy. And amazed. We are such hard-wired beings, sometimes.
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..Facebook-Stalking My Birth Son =-.