That’s My Name

As much as I detest trolls, sometimes I grudgingly have to admit their asinine comments make me pause and consider.

Such was the troll that left this comment on Maria’s (BOREDMommy) blog the other day:

Why is it that you call yourselves “mommies”? It’s infantile, like being called a girl instead of a woman. If giving birth (or adopting) and raising a child is so important, why don’t you insist on the dignity of the word “parent”? Or “mother” — if you insist on focusing on gender as well? I am a parent and I was “mommie” only to my children and then only when they were young. No wonder men and childfree women don’t take you seriously: You are endlessly self-absorbed, boring, juvenile, and have nothing to say for yourselves beyond your reproductive status and childrearing.

OK, I have to admit that my first thought was, ‘*snort* Wow…..bitter much?’

But then I stopped.  Do I mind being called a ‘Mommy’ or even lumped in with ‘Mommy bloggers’?

You know… I really don’t.

To me ‘mother’ or even ‘parent’ is a cold, impersonal, standoffish word.

And Vista never refers to me as ‘Mother’.  Ever.  That would just be weird.

To her I’m ‘Mama’ and ‘Mommy’.  So do I associate with that name?  You bet.  Because, as far as my 2 year old is concerned, that is my name.  I have no other identity other than Mommy.  She doesn’t know me as Jenn, same as she doesn’t know Daddy as Bil.  We are Mommy and Daddy.

And I love the simplicity of that.

To me it’s not infantile, it’s innocence at it’s very best.  It speaks to a time when your parents are not adults put on this earth for the express purpose of oppressing you.  It is that sweet time between self awareness and total independence when your child reaches for you to know they are safe, secure, loved.

In time, I’m sure my name will morph. It’ll go from Mommy, to Mom, to OMG! MoooooooooommmmmmGawdYou’reEmbarassingME!

But right now, I’m thrilled to be Mommy.  And I couldn’t possibly think of a sweeter sound than my daughter calling my name.

Are you proud to be a Mommy too?  Head over to BOREdMommy’s site and link up your own post.

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27 Responses to That’s My Name

  • Amen Jenn. Well said (even better than I could). Thanks so much for linking up.

    Jenn Reply:

    @Maria @BOREDmommy,

    Anytime. Us ‘Mommies’ have to stick together ;-)

  • Love how you expressed this! Fun, whimsy, serious and loving all at the same time. Isn’t that just what mommyhood is?
    .-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..Why I’m proud to call myself mommy =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    @Christine LaRocque,

    That is so, so true. And it’ so important to keep your sense of humour when in the throws of mommyhood too. lol

  • Stacie says:

    That was very well said! I loved the video with your daughter too! That was just too cute. Maybe the real underlying issue is that they never liked being called Mommy at all by their own kids.

    Jenn Reply:

    @Stacie,

    Quite possibly. I always asume trolls have other underlying issues other than the ones they’re harping on.

  • Leigh-Anne says:

    Bravo!!!
    I am sad that my ‘baby’ is moving out of the Mommy stage and into the Mom stage.. being a Mommy IS dignified… and as for childfree women and men not taking me seriously… I certainly beg to differ. I work in an industry where I spend a lot of time with Men… and Child-free women… I am taken seriously.. and well respected in my career, and life in general.

    BOO to the troll… and YAY to all us Mommies!!!!!!!!

    Jenn Reply:

    @Leigh-Anne,

    Dude. I’m sad your ‘baby’ is growing up too. I remember when he was born and what a little snuggle bunny he was. *sigh* I doubt he’d be into snuggling with his godmother these days. lol.

  • Yeah, not convinced that I would somehow get more readers/followers if I used “mother” instead of mommy. And honestly? If someone is refusing to follow me because of the use of the word “mommy”, then they are probably just a wee bit too uptight for me anyway.
    .-= thepsychobabble´s last blog ..They Call Me “Mommy” =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    @thepsychobabble,

    ROFL.. so true. I really thing using ‘mother’ and ‘parent’ is alienating. Moms identify with ‘mommy’ because that’s who we are.

  • Kellee says:

    That’s a very sweet video. I have not given it much though, honestly. Does referring to one’s self as Mommy sound kind of juvenile. Well, yes, it does. But, I’m nobody’s parent, so how would I know? And that is how you self-identify because that is how your children identify you, and there is nothing wrong with that. I don’t judge any of you for it.
    .-= Kellee´s last blog ..Finally Some Photos =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    @Kellee,

    I can definitely say that if you ever become a mom, your perspective changes on a lot of things. I really didn’t get it until I had V. I didn’t understand the ‘mommy’ philosophy. And I’m not saying that to be all ‘Oh you just don’t get it’. That’s not it at all. I’m just saying you might feel differently if it was your child calling you Mommy.

    For me honestly ‘Mommy’ is just the same as any of my other nicknames. My name is Jennifer. Very few people call me that. Most people call me Jenn. And I identify with both names. I don’t however identify with Jenny/Jenni – That’s not me, not who I am. The same is true for ‘Mommy’. I am Mommy, I am Mama… ‘Mother’… not so much.

  • Kellee says:

    And by the way? “Mommy bloggers” have a LOT more to say about a great variety of things than I do, half the time, so that was just an asinine comment.
    .-= Kellee´s last blog ..Finally Some Photos =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    @Kellee,

    *snort* Mommy bloggers have a lot to say on EVERYTHING because for a lot of us, it’s the only time we get to have adult conversations. And so we sit at home with toddlers and stew on things then turn to the internet to spew. lol

  • jenn says:

    aww I just love Vista’s cute little voice!! gah I wanna eat her up, and your voice is so dang sweet! im proud to be called mommy, I have the damn stretch marks to prove it and the incision marks of three c-sections- im PROUD to be called mom/mommy. I love to hear it come out of my kids mouths, especially when my older ones slip up and call me mommy instead of mom..so very tender. I, like you am rarely called Jennifer..most people call me Jenn, my mom still calls me pooh bear (head to palm) and my husband either calls me babe, or honey, its just another name to add to the pot.
    this comment is too dang long, BUT what about those people that lose a baby? what about the ones that try years to have a baby? sorry, but Im pretty sure they would LOVE to be called mommy.
    .-= jenn´s last blog ..Morning Glory =-.

    Jenn Reply:

    @jenn,

    You hit the nail on the head. It’s all about perspective.

    I’m like you… I have the battle scars of stretch marks and a c-sec scar to prove I’ve earned the name Mommy. lol

    And what about people who lose children and those still trying to concieve. You’re positively right. They would give anything to hear the words mommy. So how can you possibly argue with that??

  • Deidra23 says:

    Me too! Although I am lucky enough to get Mommy, Mama AND Mommymia (I have no idea how she thought up that one)

    Jenn Reply:

    @Deidra23,

    HeHeHe! Mommymia… I love it!!

  • Lisa says:

    Totally proud to call myself a mommy. It is an honor to hear my daughter call me mommy or mama. I agree, to me, mother is a cold name. I wear the name of mommy proudly!!
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..New Text4Baby Campaign =-.

  • patois says:

    I don’t get why that parental unit troll would really care. Like the idea of embracing (and linking back) to show support.
    .-= patois´s last blog ..Aha! I’m a Parent! =-.

  • Laura says:

    I dont think that could have been said any better.
    I too, believe that the best nickname, etc I have is when my children call out “mommy”, there is no higher honor or position to me. It’s music to my ears. When my daughter is 30, she’s crying and needs to talk and calls and says “mommy, I need you” I will still gladly be called mommy.
    I think people that look down on the title are naive people, they just really don’t understand it, maybe didn’t have that kind of relationship with their mother, etc.

  • Well spoken (as usual). And I would definitely say that there is so much bitterness in that comment. You are right. I am cherishing the days that I am still Mommy, and sometimes Mom now to my twelve year old. I loved the way you described it as the only time that they really, really see you as their world, because you are. For now, I’m keeping my name and loving it. And by the way, Vista is just adorable!~ : )
    Tricia

  • I could not agree with you more. Isn’t that the truth? I don’t always think of myself as a mommy blogger but really, I mostly am. My kids, especially now that I have 2, are what I blog about mostly. It is NOT juvenile to consider myself a mommy…that’s what I am to my 2 kids.
    .-= Becky @TheRealBecks´s last blog ..A Happy Update =-.

  • Avasmommy says:

    I waited a long, long time to be called “Mommy”. It’s not the only thing I am but it’s the most important thing I am. And I’m damn proud of it.
    .-= Avasmommy´s last blog ..Content =-.

  • Avasmommy says:

    Oh, and BTW – I love the look on V’s face when you ask her what your name is. She’s all “DUH- it’s Mommy!”
    .-= Avasmommy´s last blog ..Content =-.

  • Lu says:

    Hearing that makes me melt. I LOVE IT AND LIVE FOR IT!!!!
    I used to call my mom “mother” or “mommy dearest” when I was getting under her skin. Hee hee.
    .-= Lu´s last blog ..Cane in my ass. (More like the cane is a PITA, but ya know. Either way sounds horrible.) =-.

  • Pres. Kathy says:

    Great post!

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