Comments on: Cheaping Out

By: Sara @TomTheGirl

Sara @TomTheGirl — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:14:15 +0000

my sister did the same thing to me!!! she invited me to her son’s bday party and instructed me on what food to make!!! infuriating.

btw? when you crossed out that “i” for a “we”, it totally looks like an upside down cross. so badass and perfect for you two lawless, godless, child services being called on you, parents!

xoxo
.-= Sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..The best sound in the world (6 mos) =-.

By: Andrea's Sweet Life

Andrea's Sweet Life — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 20:26:47 +0000

That is beyond rude. Having a potluck is one thing, inviting people to Easter Dinner and then telling them to bring something is just, ugh… ick.

When I host a party or dinner or whatever, I supply EVERYthing, and always have. If friends/family volunteer to bring something, I tell them that extra drinks, appetizers and desserts are always welcome. I certainly don’t expect them to offer, though!

We have a hard time going to family gatherings on my hubs’ side for the exact opposite reason – I *have* to bring food for Blythe, because it would be impossible to track all the ingredients the hostess used to make the meal. I’m not an asshole about it – but his family FLIPS OUT that I bring “special” food for her. DUDE. SHE IS ALLERGIC.

Anyway. My suggestion? Bring something gross, like…. boiled brussels sprouts. Or chitterlings.
.-= Andrea’s Sweet Life´s last blog ..Puppy Throwdown =-.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:09:09 +0000

You are right – my family does this all the time – but you know what? I don’t cook. Deal with it – I’ll just bring diet coke because you know what? It’s what *I* like. Besides that – they apparently now think it’s totally okay to drink a few *bottles* of white wine while I am there. As in, they never did this before – it would have totally made these things more interesting in the past for me. (Note that I am not caring about the ‘bottles’ only commenting that there are multiples of them mocking me) Nevermind the fact that there are several of us who are in recovery.

But, I digress.

Here a host gift is the same as it is where you live. A bottle of wine, maybe something like a pretty wine stopper or the like.

It’s wine.
It’s always about the wine.
They mock me.

Just kidding!
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Tila Tequila Is A Mess – And Not A Hot One =-.

By: Becky @TheRealBecks

Becky @TheRealBecks — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:05:35 +0000

@Jenn, bottle of wine here too in texas if they don’t drink, maybe a nice dessert or something.
.-= Becky @TheRealBecks´s last blog ..Photo bliss =-.

By: Becky @TheRealBecks

Becky @TheRealBecks — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:04:10 +0000

i mostly agree with this. like if we’re going to a friend’s house, then yeah i’ll offer to bring something but i expect them to be like “oh no you don’t have to. i’ve got it covered” as i have things covered when i’m hosting a party. but with our family…since we’re all so close and do big dinners ALL the time… it’s just known that if dinner is at MILs then we (cousins/kids) call her and ask her what we should bring. she’ll make the main course and we’ll bring sides or dessert. in y’all’s situation…well i wouldn’t even go. HAH.
.-= Becky @TheRealBecks´s last blog ..Photo bliss =-.

By: MommyGeekology

MommyGeekology — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 12:02:12 +0000

Oh hey! Love the new look! I haven’t actually been ON your blog in a while… stupid busy life…

Anyway, I’m chiming in with my agreement. Hostess shouldn’t ask unless it’s very clearly a potluck. HOWEVER, it IS polite to bring something for the party (a hostess gift!)

But people don’t teach manners anymore.
.-= MommyGeekology´s last blog ..My Girls =-.

By: Michelle P.

Michelle P. — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:49:41 +0000

In our family, the norm is to bring something. Normally the person hosting it take care of the main dish, dessert, and at least one side dish. Then they arrange and I guess “tell” everyone else what they’re bringing. We’d bring things anyway, but that way we know we’re not going to be stuck with 4 bean side dishes. It’s the norm in our family, so I don’t think much of it. We’ve done it for years, longer then I can remember. Of course, when it’s not family it’s different.

Do you have to bring Vista? Would it been seen as a total slap in the face if you left her at respite? Even lie? “Hey, we were going to bring her, but the poor dear had such a bad day that we didn’t want to ruin the dinner.” Then duck out early to “check on her”.

By: Tricia (irishsamom)

Tricia (irishsamom) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:15:45 +0000

Oh man. That sucks. Especially if it’s family. Like you, I would always bring something or offer, but to ask is just bad manners. (sorry, I know they’re your family and all but still, lol). I am kind of old school like that too. I haven’t had people over in a long time now because of my situation with the house, etc but I love to entertain. I would never ask people to bring things – like you say, most offer and it’s always nice when they bring a bottle of wine or something like that. But, never expected. Families are so hard. I hope it doesn’t go to badly. The way your Mom called to ask on behalf of your sister-in-law is kind of strange too. Reminds me of my MIL calling my almost ex husband to tell him to have B to call HER so she could say Happy Birthday to him last month. WTH?

Good luck with the Easter dinner. Hope it turns out OK. Have V not take a nap and she can be at her worst and then you can duck out of there? Just a thought.
Hugs xx

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:04:21 +0000

I so totally agree with you. First off, if it wasn’t a “potluck” or invitation to bring your own dish, but a requirement, SO NOT COOL!!! We do potlucks in our family, but all the invitations include “please bring a small side dish” but even then, the person throwing the party normally makes the main dish, brings the drinks (you bring your own if you know you won’t like what’s there), one side dish and one desert dish. Then there are always more brought. But to be told, “hey, im hosting and you have to bring something” so very rude.
As for the people who spend way out of their means, drives me frigging batty. I am so not “in” the money, and I splurge on a drink now and then, but my car is not paid for, I’m living with family (which is totally awesome right now-a whole level to ourselves) but people who have taken out three morgages on their home, a new car they can’t afford, a ton of credit cards, and then complain, I say “boo frigging whoo”. The rest of us live in the real world and have plenty of financial problems, but to make yourself look like you are in the money then complain it’s rediculous!
Hugs to you, and hope V does good, at least until you are all ready to split out of the dinner. ….
.-= Laura´s last blog ..The Garden of the Gods (last Sat) =-.

By: Jenn

Jenn — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:13:04 +0000

@Jenni Williams,

And this is why I totally love you. lol.
Because you do get it on so many levels.

I think we’ll go and then just duck out the second dinner can be considered over (or earlier if V loses it).

Sounds like it’s going to be a full house, so I’m not sure how V will do with all those people there.