It was hard to post my article b/c I knew there were probably better ways to handle it, but at the same time it started a needed discussion. I’m glad you extended this discussion the way you did and incorporated the element of special needs children and the parents who work so tirelessly to care for them.

Your suggestion to ask them “May I help you?” is a good one and might just be something I use later on. I welcome you thoughts b/c no I don’t know it all. She was past the “May I help you?” moment. YOu’ll have to take my word on that one.

The big diff. I see btwn what you describe and what I saw is this. You are trying to restrain an aggressive outburst- That I understand and would seek to help. The mother I saw was threatening and being physically abusive to a cowering, silent, fearful child.

He first cowered on the ground with his arms blocking her. After her side kick he scrambled to the fence where she put him in an arm lock and he covered his head with his other hand. He obviously thought she was going to do what she said and was responding in fear. He fled to the safety of another in the group once I spoke and she released her grasp on him.

I wanted him to know that while he may have acted wrongly it was still not okay or deserved to be treated like that. So many abused children really believe it is all their fault when they are abused.

Women who commented ran the spectrum of you should have called the police, do nothing, to great job. Honestly, I’m not sure I like any of those answers, but these things confront us when we are not expecting it and so I started a discussion.

Many comments have stung but I know being stung can make me wiser in the future. It’s something we should think about before we find ourselves witnessing it and not knowing what to do as I did.

Let’s say she was having a really bad day and that normally she never acts like that. And truly we all have the potential to act that same way including ME given the right circumstances. If I were the one in her spot, I would (maybe not right away) but later be thankful for someone’s intervention to save me from my self and keep me from lashing out like this at my child.

I didn’t call the police b/c I wanted to believe it was just that- a really bad day. I didn’t want to go to far in my judgement of the situation, but silence didn’t seem to be an option either.

I’m still not convinced of the perfect reaction to what I witnessed but the discussion has been worthwhile. It’s obvious through the comments section that you encouraged many with your extension to the conversation.

xoxo
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Aunt Becky, The Lost Years =-.

And now I’m going to cross the fingers that this came out clearer than my last comment. lol
.-= thepsychobabble´s last blog ..This Week in Psychoville =-.

I remember the first time I heard of Shaking Baby Syndrome. It was well before I had children of my own and I remember thinking “How could anyone do that?”

Then I had a baby with severe colic. Who screamed in my face for 14 weeks, up to 20 hours a day.

While I don’t condone SBS obviously…I do now understand how people reach that breaking point.
.-= ally´s last blog ..My Kind Of Day =-.

once again, going back to the fantastic title of this post… it is such a fine line.

but because you shared this, i may try to cross it and offer help next time.
.-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..on your second birthday =-.

I have been there with my normal looking child. I’ve had people call the cops on me and threaten to report me for “child abuse” or something they perceived as wrong with my parenting. Not only do we have the crap we have to deal with at home, but then we get more judgment and accusations heaped upon us by strangers.

Some people just have no idea.

and reading this post of yours, caused me to find a whole new respect for you that i did not even realize existed.

you truly are an amazing mother who gives not only motherhood, but womanhood a good name.

i’m proud to be your friend.
.-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..on your second birthday =-.