There is a particular brand of women I don’t tend to be friends with in real life. I have no patience for them. I don’t want them around me.
Yet I find it harder to escape this type when I’m online. Social media tends to breed them.
I’m talking about women who are The Victim.
These are women that have a pervasive ‘woe is me’ attitude… about everything. And they’re too busy crying about how life has done them wrong to change anything.
I know everyone goes through their ‘things’. People are entitled to bad days, bad weeks, even bad years. Sometimes shit happens. Even I’ve had my fair share of downer moments on this blog in the past few years.
But it’s when you’d rather sit around feeling sorry for yourself, wallowing in your own self pity, that I tend to tune out.
My friends in my day-to-day world tend to be women of strength. Women who, in some cases, have been dealt a pretty shitty hand lately. And they’ll talk about their frustrations and what’s bothering them. Sometimes they even have a good cry over things. Then they pick themselves up and move forward. Because life does not stop. They are women who choose to focus on what is right in their lives and make the best out of what they can’t always control.
Then you have the other category of women. I sometimes wonder how much of their constant personal drama is locked into a cycle because they feed off the attention of others. They surround themselves with people who will pat them on the head, tell them how life has dealt them a raw deal, and constantly confirm to them how wonderful they are, over and over and over and over,… and over and over and … yeah, well… If you’re that type, I probably stopped reading and commenting on your blog about 5 ‘overs’ ago.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I never expect people to agree with me on everything (just like I don’t expect everyone to agree with this post). My friends regularly have discussions on differing opinions. I love that. I feel it helps me learn, grow, view the world as I might not have thought to.
By surrounding yourself with people that will only agree with you, and attack anyone who says the least little thing outside of the acceptable rote responses, you are locking yourself into victim mode.
What I’ve been considering, lately, is how much I contribute to this by not saying anything. By not commenting that ‘hey, I’m sorry you’re having a rough time, but look at your wonderful healthy kids, your great job, your nice house,’ am I just as bad as those people who smother The Victim with the protective shield that drips with venom for the naysayers?
And I guess that’s why I don’t speak up. I don’t want to become a target for the whiners posse who are posed to attack anyone who doesn’t agree fully with everything The Victim says. I don’t feel like causing huge internet drama through one comment.
And so, the next question becomes, as my hand hovers over the unfollow and delete buttons, why don’t I just eradicate these people from my online life like I would my real life?
Possibly because I have learned that in this day of social media that a simple unfollow, a quick delete, a removal from my blog roll (blog rolls are meant to be dynamic, people. Sheesh. Who I read changes on my mood), can cause just as much drama. Because for The Victim, anything that can cause drama means more attention for them. Booyah!
So either way I’m left feeding the addiction for these people. And I do believe it’s an addiction. To attention. To blog stats.
So what to do?
Cause drama, or sit back and watch it?