It’s Time

My friend Melissa came over for coffee yesterday.  It’s a weekly ritual we’ve had since our girls were only a few months old.  A break from the usual routines to stop and enjoy someone’s company.

It’s funny how with some people, you never run out of things to talk about.

And I think that’s the sign of a good friend.  When the most mundane details of your life are interesting and important to them.  And vice versa.

As we sat chatting yesterday, I quietly told Melissa that I had finally handed in the papers to qualify Vista for an aide.

“This is a good thing,” she said, leaning across the table.  “It’s time.”

300px MontreGousset001 Its Time

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It’s time.

Yes it is.

When we first started down this path of diagnosis with Vista, we were told by several medical professionals “well, I wouldn’t worry too much about her delays.  Most kids normalize around the age of 5  and you can’t even tell there was any issues when they were younger.”

Part of me has been holding on tight to that.  Tighter than tight.

It’s was like a mantra.  “She’ll turn 5 and then she’ll be OK.  We just have to wait until she’s 5.”

I know it sounds ridiculous reading it.  But it was that light at the end of the tunnel.  Five was the magic number.

And so I put off getting an aide.  After all, we really didn’t need one.  By 5 or so she’d catch up.  I mean, look at her.  She looks perfectly normal.  She’s not one of those kids that needs an aide.

Only she does.

And it’s time.

Time to let go and realize that Vista isn’t going to magically be all better on her 5th birthday.

Time to admit that we need help and we can’t keep doing it all on our own.

It’s time.

Only… I wish it wasn’t.

 Its Time
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12 Responses to It’s Time

  • this brought tears to my eyes jenn. decision making with regards to our children sounds like something that should be so easy to do… but it’s not.

  • Lisa says:

    A tough decision to make, but I think it is the right one for Vista and for you guys.

    Love and hugs mama. You amaze me sometimes (actually, most of the time!).

  • PsychMamma says:

    Hugs, hugs, HUGS, sweets.

    Asking for help is always hard. Facing the reality that our kiddos need it is harder. Realizing that WE need it and can’t do it all ourselves is the hardest.

    Love you.

  • becky says:

    Jenn, I know you already know this but that is the right thing to do. You’re being responsible and VERY loving to her by doing this. You’re a great mom. She’s lucky to have you.

  • Mandi Bone says:

    Oh Jenn. So many hugs for you. It sucks balls when you have to do these kinds of things for your kid.

  • laura says:

    Oh honey, I am so sure this is a hard decision, but if she and you need it, then so be it my dear. Much luck to you. Hope you can find someone that V can connect with. (you too) many hugs

  • punkinmama says:

    Yay for good friends.

    Hugs to you for a tough decision. But I guess one way to look at it is that it can’t hurt for her to have an aide. I hope it helps. And I hope year 5 is magical regardless.

  • Michelle says:

    Sometimes we need help to sustain, and sometimes we need help to change. And we don’t always know what it’s going to be until it’s over and done. If an aide helps her now, it’s worth it. If an aide now means that 5 will be better, it’s worth it. If an aide helps YOU help her better, it’s worth it too.

    In some ways I wonder (when I look at my own life) if it gets easier or not. This week the preschool teacher made a referral for OT services for M. After everything we deal with with R, I was “Oh, is that it. I can handle that.”. But on the other hand I just about burst into tears on Tuesday night when my husband told me he was working afternoons on Wed. Cause I just couldn’t face the idea of going to ANOTHER therapy appointment in Calgary and was really counting on him handle our Wed evening one.

  • Ironic Mom says:

    A tough decision, indeed, which you expressed beautifully. I hope Vista is placed with the best aide ever. Really.

  • Kellee says:

    Clearly a tough decision to accept – but the hard decisions just makes you an even mom. I can only imagine how much this will help her, and I have no doubt this is a decision that will make you happy in the end, when you see the progress. <3

  • Melissa Palmer says:

    I know hun, I know.

  • Nicole says:

    HUGS!!!!!! Been there done exactly that and I can honestly say you need HUGS !!!!! and support so here’s mine !!!!!!!! Love you!!!!!!!!!

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