Conversations in our house are never normal.  Sometimes they’re weird.  Sometimes they’re scary.  Sometimes they’re borderline psychotic.  Kinda like me.

==========

*standing in the kitchen talking to Bil while I fill a glass with ice*

Me: “Do I ever scare you? I mean, do you ever worry that one day you’re going to come home to find I’ve finally totally and completely lost it?”

Bil: “There’s an ice pick in the drawer over there….”

Me: “Right.  Okay then.”

==================

Bil: “God… another damn email with Microsoft trying to convince the world how awesome SharePoint is.”

Me: “Isn’t it awesome?”

Bil: “Have you read my blog and twitter stream??”

Me: “Well…why do you specialize in it, then?”

Bil: “You can still specialize in something if it sucks.”

Me: “Good point.  I want to specialize in something that sucks too…. What sucks?”

Bil: “Pauly Shore?”

Me: “Perfect.  Going to watch Encino Man now.”

===================

*Vista’s playing with her toys and she has Little People horse.  She’s making neighing sounds that are progressively getting louder and angrier sounding*

Me: “Vista, it sounds like you have a very disagreable horse there.  Maybe he needs to be put down.”

Bil: “I wonder if they make the Fisher Price Glue Factory?  *in his best announcer voice* Now with real glue sounds!”

Me: “I meant she had to put the toy down, not kill the horse…”

Bil: “Oh…right….”

===================

So, yeah… if anyone can recommend a good therapist…