Staying Away

I’ve been avoiding my blog.  Yes I admit it.  I have.

The past few months have once again been filled with doctors appointments and med changes for V.  And I’ve just found I’ve become tired of writing about it.  But it tends to consume our lives, so it leaves so little else to write about.

I’m struggling to find a way of updating friends and family and documenting our journey with Vista, without turning my blog into a whiny, pity party.   Because, really, in the grand scheme of things, our life is so good.  Vista is, generally, healthy and happy.

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This past weekend my parents took Vista to stay with them so we could redo her room (more on that tomorrow).  This is the first time she’s ever stayed with them (or anyone) for an extended period of time.

Apparently, it was an enlightening experience for them.

As much as my parents know what our life is like, and see what it’s like to parent a special needs child, they didn’t really fully comprehend our day-to-day world until they lived it for 48hrs.

Two full days where they were responsible for all her meds and dietary concerns.

Two days of managing a little girl who likes to go to bed late and wake up at ungodly hours of the morning.

Two days of dealing with her Jekyll and Hyde moods.   (which my father will swear is just karma for my teenage years)

Two days of watching for signs of seizures, asthma, and heat stroke.

Two days of living our lives.

And they walked away with a new appreciation of how different it is parenting a child like Vista.

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I can tell you, here in this space, what our lives are like.  And you will walk away understanding in the same way my parents understood before this weekend.

There are nuances that just cannot be conveyed.

Which leaves me in the struggle of how much to share before it becomes boring, monotonous, and repetitive.

I’m trying to figure out where the line between sharing and over sharing hides itself.

But in the mean time silence is more comforting than writing about the medical journey that comes with being Vista’s parents.

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9 Responses to Staying Away

  • I love you. Quiet and loud.

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    I love you. Hard.
    Wait… that totally sounded better (and less dirty) in my head.

  • Lisa says:

    I’ve missed you here in this space, but I completely get the struggle you are in. Love you whether you want to spew it all out or none of it. I’ll be here to read, listen and lend support regardless.

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    @Lisa,

    Thanks love.
    The silence has extend to commenting on blogs too. But I’ve been avidly following your journeys and can’t wait for that baby to be born!

  • I love you darlin. I don’t have the same exact, life, but I can totally relate. Share. It’s not whining. You never know when something you say can help someone else. Even if it’s just not feeling alone.

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    Thanks sweets.
    I hadn’t considered that side of things, so thanks for that.

  • utah hostage says:

    I have missed seeing your wonderful words. But I understand your dilemma. Write whenever you want. About whatever you want. I’ll never stop following you. Oh. That wasn’t supposed to sound so stalker-ish. Whoops. xoxo

  • I’ve missed you Jenn. Nothing you ever have to say is monotonous or boring, you inspire me when I’m whining on Twitter about my kids who don’t have special needs – emotional and physical and it’s hard enough. You inspire me because I see a beautiful little girl who’s mama loves her unconditionally and gives her everything of herself to ensure that she’s happy and healthy. Those are the stories we like to read and hear about and be inspired by. And yes, humbled by. A reminder that we are blessed and that life is always more challenging for someone else. It’s how we handle it that counts. You, my friend, handle it gracefully and with a patience that I could never wish to have. V is lucky to have found just the family she needs for her. And it shines through in her beautiful little face. You do a great job and a job than so many don’t understand, given all the complications that come with her challenges. I’m glad your parents were able to experience that first hand. I hope they can do it again soon and give you a little reprieve from the daily work that is giving her everything she needs.

    In the meanwhile, I, and I’m sure many others love to hear about your daily life. When you’re up to it, we’ll be reading and cheering you on.
    Tricia x

  • Chibi Jeebs says:

    Jenni’s bang-on: if it helps you in the slightest to blog it out, do it, because someone out there somewhere will read your words and feel so bloody relieved that s/he isn’t alone. Just like you’re not – I’m only a DM/email/text/phone call away. <3

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