Please Send Comfort Food

I’m one of those people who can cry at the drop at the hat, sometimes.  If I’m frustrated?  Waterworks.  Angry?  Yup, I’ll tear up.  Watch that commercial on TV with the cute kid?  Well, you get the idea.

I’m having one of those overly emotional days, today.

Vista had a bad seizure last night.  It took her a long time to come out of it, which is very unusual for her.  Usually her seizures are short, and she’s fine right after them.

This one lasted longer and when we were finally able to wake her up after it, she couldn’t tell us her name.  She fell back asleep, which meant we had to continue to try to wake her up every little bit, trying to bring her out of the post seizure and make sure her cognitive functions returned.

Let me tell you… when you can’t wake up your kid, it’s scary.  V’s notoriously hard to wake up at the best of times.  But this?  This was different.  This was holding a ragdoll in my arms.  And just when we thought she might open her eyes she was gone again.

When we finally started to get some response out of her and I was coaxing her to open her eyes, she told me she couldn’t.  She was trying, but her eyes wouldn’t open.  Gah!

It took almost an hour for her to fully return.  That is a loooong 60 minutes of debating whether to bring her into to the ER, chatting with an on-call nurse, and repeating “Vista, sweetie…wake up and open your eyes for Mama” over and over.

This kid is seriously going to give me a heart attack.

She’s better this morning.  A little off on her balance, but otherwise seems to be alright.

I’ll be calling her neurologist on Monday morning to see if they want to do some level checks for her meds, since she’s had a couple growth spurts over the past could months.

But the fact that this seizure was so different than her normal ones… doesn’t sit well with me.

It makes me nervous that they’ll want to talk brain surgery again.  Which REALLY doesn’t sit well with me.

 

So while I’ve been doing the classic ‘worry about things you have no control over’ this morning I realize… wait… where the hell’s my cat?

I haven’t seen him since yesterday.

He always comes home.  Several times a day.  To eat, and get pets, and shed all over my floors.

But, no sign of him.

I couldn’t be Bil’s annoying useless cat that goes missing.  Noooo…it has to be my cat who I love and adore.

*sigh*

 

So I quit this weekend.  And in lieu of crying I’m eating ice cream, and carbs, and other random junk.  Please send wine and margaritas to wash it all down.

 

 

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22 Responses to Please Send Comfort Food

  • Michelle says:

    Pickles? I deliver.

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    @Michelle,
    lol. I’m pretty sure pickles only count if you’re pregnant.

    Michelle Reply:

    @PrincessJenn, Oh I hope not. I’ve been scarfing down on them all day as I put them in jars.

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    @Michelle, I’m seriously giggling at the thought of you being pregnant right now. *ducks and runs*

  • Jackie says:

    What do you want? What do you need? What can I do? ((hugs))

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    @Jackie,
    A million dollars, in small unmarked bills? No?

  • oh hun. i love you so much. i don’t even know what to say b/c i’m too consumed with tears for you right now. but i’m here. and i love you. and please call me if you want to cry together.

  • I can’t even fathom. :( I’m so sorry.

  • Jana A says:

    Oh my. How scary. Sending some delish mac & cheese and waffle fries for you. xoxo

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    @Jana A,
    MMMMMmmmm…. waffle fries. Canada needs a place that sells good waffle fries.

    Jackie Reply:

    @PrincessJenn, If I had some to spare, it would be yours. Unfortunately, I forgot to buy my lotto max ticket on Friday.

  • oh hun. I cant imagine. I am sending brownies and a tub a frosting.

  • Chibi Jeebs says:

    Oh, fucking hell. I’m so sorry, Jenn. Watching my sister have seizures – feeling so bloody USELESS – is the worst thing I’ve experienced in my life. I can’t even imagine how that feels when it’s your baby. Saying prayers and sending love.

    *biiiiig, fat, squooshy bewbie hugs*

    xoxo

  • Angi says:

    I can’t imagine how hard this all is for you. Love to you, Bil and V.

  • BuenoBaby says:

    PrincessJenn, I don’t know you but Nic from My Bottle’s Up told me to stop over here and she’s really bossy so I do whatever it is she says. ANYWAY, I’m a mama too and I can’t imagine your worry! Unfortunately, worrying is what a mama does, and it sounds like you’re overachieving in that department right now.

    Here comes the unsolicited advice: I’m not a religous person, but when life becomes too overwhelming I talked to God and say, “Hey look, this one is too big for me so you’re going to have to handle it from here on out. So here you go, here’s my pain/worry/sadness. Have at it.” It helps me.

    Also, eating ice cream, and carbs, and other random junk usually works well too!

    Sending good thoughts your way.

  • Brigid says:

    Let’s fry the pickles and make them a high carb/fat dense food. Sending hugs.

  • Lisa says:

    Ugh, reading this hurts my heart. I can’t imagine how horrible and scary and crazy that must have been for you and Bil. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I hope V feels better and you get some good answers from the neuro, ones that don’t make you cry.

    Love you and sending you many hugs my friend.

  • Melissa says:

    Special brownies?

    nic @mybottlesup Reply:

    @Melissa, LIKE!

  • I know that this might sound overly religious – which I am not – but praying might help too. While I’m always a fan of anything with carbs, my new diet has prevented me from going that route. And since Bubba was just Baptized this morning, I realize how important it is to pray. Thoughts are with you!

    WM

  • PsychMamma says:

    Just catching up here, and OMG, sweetie!! I can’t even imagine the terror that must have been in your heart. What a horrible, powerless feeling. I’m so glad she seems to be doing well overall, but so sorry that you’re dealing with the possibility of more brain surgery conversations. Again, I just can only imagine the fear and emotion involved with that. I can partially relate, because our doc periodically mentions J’s likely future including a lung transplant, and I know how my heart seizes up.

    Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. In the meantime, I’ll keep you all in my thoughts and send you peace and light and love.

    xox

  • punkinmama says:

    Oh friend, wishing I could personally deliver margaritas and chocolate to your doorstep! So sorry!

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