How YOU Doing

All my life I have been one of those people that others turn to when things go wrong.

Something not working?  See if Jenn can fix it.

Having an issue with someone?  See if Jenn will deal with it.

Life falling down around you in tiny itty-bitty pieces?  Bring it to Jenn to put back together.

And I don’t mind, for the most part.

I like being able to help.  I am a problem solver by nature.

But sometimes it can be an isolating experience.

People go off and leave you holding everything and a roll of duct tape because they assume that you’ve got this.

Or people are suffocating with their attention when they need something.  But as soon as they are back on track they disappear into the ether.

And while I’m happy that they’re happy… I does make me wonder why I was the one they turned to.  Was it because they knew I’d listen?  Offer advice?  Do what I could to help?

Or was it because they consider me a friend who has their back.

But if I’m such a great friend… when do these same people start asking how I’m doing?

Because that’s the interesting thing… they never do.

The people who do take the time to ask (and care about the answers) are never the people who expect me to drop everything and fix their lives.

Maybe it’s because those people who want their lives fixed for them are too self absorbed to look beyond what they are experiencing in the moment.  I don’t honestly know.

All I know is, if you vanish into thin air,when you finally reappear, don’t expect me to still be standing in the same place.

 

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4 Responses to How YOU Doing

  • PsychMamma says:

    How ARE you doing, love? I suck at this sometimes. I HOPE that I’m not the needy one asking for support and giving nothing, but I also know that I often suck at keeping in touch with people I really love. Life and time fly by and too much time has passed when I realize it’s been too long since I checked in with people that I care about. Then I kick myself and make some calls and emails. Thank you for the reminder that I need to take that time more often.

    I’m sorry that I’ve been absent here, and haven’t checked in with you for so long.

    The friendships I value most are the ones that are often in the same boat (& not checking in with me either) and “get it,” and, when we connect again, it’s like no time ever passed. BUT, although that’s great, I know that long term care of any relationship requires time, energy and communication. I need to do so much better at this.

    Thanks again for the reminder, and know that I love you, even when I’m absent for a while!! (And you can ALWAYS call on me for help when you need it!)

    P.S. Totally serious about you taking a trip to FL. If you want a vacation to some warm weather, there’s a room, a hug, and a bottle of wine waiting for you here!

    xox

    PrincessJenn Reply:

    @PsychMamma,
    Awww, sweetie. This is never you. I can’t think of a single time you’ve asked me to fix something, or wanted favors, or anything. You’re usually the one right there with me offering support to people.
    And I may still take you up on that trip. It’s getting bloody cold here again.

  • michelle says:

    Ah dear, I drove by you the other day and realized it’s been forever since I’ve seen you. And this reminds me that again. Coffee!

  • Chibi Jeebs says:

    How YOU doinnnnn? *waggles eyebrows*

    In all seriousness, though, you know I’m picking up what you’re putting down. I’m not sure why I do it, but when I need help the most, I withdraw the most; getting stuck inside my own head often means I miss out on the lives of those I love. For that, I’m sorry.

    Love you.
    xoxo

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