Friends and Lovers

Making A Big World A Little Smaller

This morning I tweeted out the words  “I love how Twitter takes a great big world and makes it so much smaller.”

Some of you knew what I was talking about.  But for those who don’t…

Last night my BlogHer roomie, Karen (agentninenty9), lost her mom.  It was expected, as much as these things ever can be, but so much more sudden than they thought.  They were told they would have several more months with her mom, after she was diagnosed with cancer.  It turned out to be weeks.

I DM’d a few people on Twitter, who I knew talked to Karen, and started a fund so we can get her something.  Right now we’re looking at a gift basket, some flowers, and a donation to the Cancer Society in Karen’s name.

This is all going to be delivered to Karen by acraftymom‘s parents, who just happen to live in the same town as Karen and actually know her.  See what I mean by Twitter making a big world much smaller?  Amazing.

The reason for this post is I wanted to reach out to others who know Karen and might want to contribute.  I didn’t want to tweet it out, on the chance Karen saw it (which is why I’m not linking to her name or website in this post).  But I’m banking on the fact that she’s not going to be reading blogs right now.

So…  I know it’s right after Christmas and money is tight, but if you would like to and are able to contribute to this, you can click on the paypal button below (this goes to my paypal account and I will send those who donate an email with exactly what was sent to Karen, once the money is in.  Anything above and beyond the cost of a gift basket and flowers will be donated to the Cancer Society in Karen’s name).  People always ask ‘how much should I donate?’, ‘what’s everyone else donating?’.  I’ve had everything from $5 to $50.  So base it on what you personally can afford.  And if you can’t afford to contribute, that’s OK.  Send Karen a tweet of encouragement instead.  She really needs those right now.

If you have any questions, you know where to find me.

Thanks to all.

pixel Making A Big World A Little Smaller

Protected: Right Now is NOW

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Right Now

There are conversations you should never have to have with a friend.

“If something happens to me… if he does something to me… will you post it on my blog so people know?”

It’s a post I never want to write.  But it’s drafted in my head, just in case.  And that ‘just in case’ makes me ill.

Your life is like a time bomb.

“He’s never hit me…” … yet.

“He’s never hurt the kids…” … yet.

His rage is slowly simmering,  though.  And one day just controlling your every move won’t be enough.

One day beating you down, emotionally, verbally, won’t be enough.

I hate this for you.

I hate that you’re trapped in this once happy life.

Right now, I want it to all go away for you.

Right now, I want you safe.

Right now, I want him out of your life.

But right now I sit waiting for the call that will make me open your blog and write the post that I never want to write.

The call that will shatter my heart into a million pieces.

The call that will make me hunt him down and hurt him as he’s hurt you.

And I wait.

And I hope.

But mostly I hurt for where you are in your life… right now.


Domestic Abuse takes many shapes and forms.  It doesn’t have to be physical violence.  Isolation, manipulation, control, and psychological intimidation are all forms of abuse.

If you’re a victim of domestic abuse, you’re not alone.  There is help.

Please visit Violence Unsilenced or Hot Peach Pages for resources in your area.

Why I Blog

A few days ago, the lovely Jennifer from The Psychobabble let me know she was tagging me for a Neno award.  I’m always flattered to receive any sort of recognition from my fellow bloggers.  But I sat on this one because the ‘rules’ of it state you have to post about why you blog.

I was struggling with answering that question.

Why do I blog?  I know it’s not for glory.  It’s certainly not for money.  I do use my blog as a place to vent, a place to update friends and family on my life.  But that’s still not the ‘why’ behind the blogging.

Well tonight it hit me full in the face.

PB and Jazz wrote this post:  Learning from others.

That right there.  That is why I blog, why I share, why I write.

Because if I can help one person expand their point of view, understand people a little more deeply, be not so quick to judge, then all the time I spend putting my words down is worth it.  If I can help one parent advocate for their child, find new ways of dealing with their issues, or offer them solace in the knowledge that they aren’t alone, then I will continue to write and share.

nenos award1 Why I BlogSo back to the award.

A big thanks to The Psychobabble for giving it to me and making me pause to consider this.  Sometimes it’s good to stop and remember the why behind the what.

The aims of this award:

  • As a dedication for those who love blogging activity and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
  • To seek the reasons why we all love blogging!

Here are the rules of the award:

  • Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
  • Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
  • Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
  • Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
  • Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

And so I am choosing to tag the following people:

  • PB and Jazz for writing a post that warmed my heart (and made me cry a little)
  • Messponential for being real and telling it like it is
  • Heart My Chloe for being brave and strong. And hawt. Can’t forget hawt.
  • The Mommy Tsunami for her Intentional Happiness 365 project. We should all be so inspired

And for everyone reading, what makes you blog?  What inspires your passion for writing?


My Belgian Shepherd is laying in the front entry way as I sit on the couch in the living room and work on my laptop.

I can hear the low rumble building in his throat letting me know someone is out front.  He jumps up and starts barking, apprising me of the impending arrival at my door.  We have no need for a doorbell or a burglar alarm as long as we have him.

I groan inwardly.  I just put Vista down for a nap.  The barking will wake her.  So much for working on this project.  And a knock on the door in the middle of the day hasn’t meant good things lately.  I groan again and get up to see who it is and how grumpy I’m going to have to be to get them to go away.

I tell the Shepard to knock off the barking and lay down.  He completely ignores me and blocks my way to the door.  He’s nothing if not a good guard dog and my fierce protector.

I shove him out of the way and open the door a crack.

A little old lady standing on the front step with a box.  I look past her to her truck in the driveway and see the Canada Post logo on it.  Oh.  A delivery.

I straighten up, tell the dogs to go to bed, and open the door wider.

“Are you Jennifer?”  She hands me the box already lightly covered in a dusting of flakes from the blowing snow.

I mentally run through my mind of things I’ve ordered online lately and draw a blank  I wasn’t expecting anything.  Hmmmm…

As a take the box and close the door, I flip it around looking for the return address.

Colleen… my girl Messponential has sent me something!

I race to the kitchen, tear open the box and start taking out the contents.

A pink shirt studded with rhinestones.  Too small for me.  I smile.  But a perfect fit for Vista.  Especially with her latest growth spurt.

Another thing for V.  A stripped fleece hoodie!  I have to hold back a ‘SQUEEEEE’.  I had just about bid on this exact one on ebay yesterday!  Now I’m glad I held off.  I know Vista is going to put this on as soon as she gets up and not take it off for the next week.  She loves soft clothes like this.

And then I get to the good stuff.  Oh, Colleen, you’ve really outdone yourself.

You all know my Tassimo fetish.  The only down side is there are a lot of Tassimo discs that are available in the US that we can’t get in Canada (sad panda).  And even the one’s we can get are not always available.  Bil has been whining for the past month about not being able to find the Chai Tea in any of the stores.  Well, now we can indulge thanks to Colleen!


colleensgifts Surprise!


Did I mention the indulge part?


swisshazelnut Surprise!


As soon as I pulled everything out of the box, I heard Vista calling to get up.  I picked up the shirts Colleen sent and went to show V.  She immediately reached for the hoodie.  “Oh!  I LOVE IT!  Put it on.  It my coloring shirt!”.   (I have no idea what a coloring shirt is, but the hoodie apparently matches the description perfectly).    I told Vista I wanted to take her picture to show Colleen and she immediately grabbed her cowboy hat, sat down and smiled.  “Cheese mama!”


colorshirt Surprise!


Thank you Colleen.  I’ve been struggling this week to remember where I put my smile.  And here it is in a box from a friend.

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