Humour & other Banalities

Search Me

One of the fun things about website stats is you can find out the search terms people used to find your blog.

Terms like:

  • Evil Dead - I get a ton of hits every day from this one , after I wrote this post.  I guess if you search Google images it’s the first to come up.  Yay me.  Princess Jenn = Evil Dead.  Who knew? Well, I suspect Bil did, because he talks about zombies an awful lot, but still.
  • spanking in the wwe - dude I could not even make this shit up
  • badger arm - how many pages did they have to wade through to find my site by searching that?  I mean, really?  Because I talk about badger arms constantly.  It’s a real passion of mine.
  • i love my bubby karen sept 2009 – Ummm…. yeah.  I got nothing
  • Heather Spohr - I mentioned her one time in one post in passing (it was all good Heather, I promise).  Note to self, put the names of famous bloggers in every post
  • do follow blogs on walk in tubs – I don’t even know what the fuck that means.  Could someone please translate from “I don’t know how to type Google search terms” to English?  That would be great.  Thanks.
  • Baby blood – this would be after the zombies hit my site. WTF??  Who the hell searches for baby blood?  What kind of sicko… OK, you know what, I don’t even want to know.
  • doctor fucking patients – I’m sorry, I think you’ve mistaken me for the other Princess Jenn (warning: NSFW)
  • my mother phucking pictures – there are certain things I don’t want to know about my mom.  This would be one of them
  • miss tard sleep badger – again – I’ve got nothing.  Totally speechless.  But what is with the goddamn badgers?
  • wwe “she bites” – My bark may be worse than my bite, but seriously I’m going to gnaw my arm off, feed it to a badger, while looking at bloody pictures of doctors phucking my mother if these searches don’t stop.

P.S.  I swear I’m not sleeping with anyone at Google.  They just love me for me.

I Will Never Understand My Husband

I am chronically forgetful. Really, it’s become something of a joke around here. I seriously can’t even remember to shut the cupboard door after I go get a glass. Yeah, it’s that bad. It also drives Bil positively insane. Especially as he walks around the kitchen after me closing cupboard doors.

I’ve also been known to call Bil at work sobbing after turning the house upside down because I couldn’t find my truck keys. (He’s since gotten a spare set for the many times when I can’t find mine)

Bil on the other hand, although he thrives on chaos, usually has a good idea of where everything is. He’s not prone to losing things. And if things do go missing, it’s usually because Vista has taken it and walked off with it.

men I Will Never Understand My HusbandSo when he asked me after work today if I had seen his work pants from Friday (his swipe key to get into his building was in the pocket of them), I was surprised. I guess he had looked for them this morning to grab his swipe key, but they were nowhere to be found. So, after dinner, I helped him search… everywhere. We looked under the bed, in our bathroom, in the spare bedroom, in the dirty laundry, in the clean laundry, in the living room. Hell, we even checked the kitchen. No pants. WTF? So I went into the main bathroom (as he uses that one to get ready for work quite often). Nope didn’t see them.

I don’t know what made me do it, but I pulled back the shower curtain on bathtub. Silly I know, because there’s no way they’d be there. Except there they were. In the bathtub. Because really, where else would they be?

Bil launched into a 15 minute explanation of why he had put his work pants in the bathtub. No they weren’t wet, dirty, or otherwise deserving of being in there. I’m still not quite clear on why they were there. Something about not leaving them in the living room. Why they wouldn’t be in the bedroom, I’m not sure, but lets go with that.

Crackers

Just more proof my kid is totally crackers for crackers.
(And yes, I obviously don’t feed her ever)

True Love

Today was one of those rough mommy days.  Vista was tired (she was up every hour or two last night, and couldn’t or wouldn’t nap today), cranky, and just generally whiny.  Which makes for a tired, cranky, and generally whiny Mom.  Funny how that works.

I deal with a lot of things really well.  Medical stuff, I take in stride.  Developmental delays are no big deal, because they can be worked on.  Cuts, bruises, blood, vomit, seizures… anything like that… I can do with my eyes closed.

But, you give me a whining kid and I will be clawing at the windows trying to escape in 5 seconds flat.  I cannot do whining.  I don’t know what it is about whiny kids that grates on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard, but I just do not react well.  It is never a good scene.

Enter my darling husband, Bil.  He has this amazing ability to completely tune out the whining and just deal with her.  (which is probably why he deals so well with me… trust me, the whining is an inherited trait for sure)

Luckily today he was able to come home an hour early and they are now playing outside, and apparently laying in the bouncy castle looking at clouds.  How awesome is that.  I’m on strict orders to stay inside, have a drink, and twitter and blog to my hearts content.

It is moments like these when I fall in love with him all over again.  And the days when he brings home a bottle of wine and some fancy truffles… yup, that’s love.

Because sometimes the greatest gift you can give a mother is an hour to herself and a good, stiff, drink.

Friday Funny: Font Conference

Because I’m a geek and an utter dork, I love this video.
After spending an hour scanning through my 2000+ fonts trying to find just the right one for a graphic, this can always bring a smile back to my face.

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