My Mom Wants To Be A Vampire
Friday morning I packed up Vista, made the hour drive into the city, and we went to the zoo with my mom and nephew.
It was nice to spend the day just hanging out, seeing the few animals that could weather the heat, and watching the kids play.
I always find it interesting to watch the dynamic between my nephew, Sheldon, and Vista. He’s a year younger, but physically more coordinated and stronger than V is. While she is far beyond him in the language and communication area.
As they made their way together through the playground, they were always watchful of each other, making sure they knew where the other was at all times. Sheldon would show V how to navigate the playground equipment as they talked back and forth in their own made-up sign language.
As they ran around playing, I had to constantly remind Vista to slow down so her asthma wouldn’t kick in. Of course, that means nothing to a 4yr old, so eventually we had to sideline her as she sat there and did a round of inhalers to stop the coughing. I’m hopeful that one day we’ll have her asthma under control enough that I won’t ever have to tell her to stop playing.
Afterwards we headed back to Mom’s and sat chatting in the shade on the deck while kids ran around the yard (where do they get the energy??).
“I’m thinking of changing my hair style when I go to get my hair cut tomorrow,” my mom mentioned as we sat sipping our coffee.
Me: “Oh? What are you thinking of doing?”.
Mom: “I want something wispy… you know…,” as she feathered out the back of her hair.
Me: “What? Like Farrah Fawcett wispy?”
Mom: “No, no… just something that sort of flips out at the ends…”
I immediately had a idea of what she was describing. I pulled out my phone, browsed and pulled up a picture to show her.
Me: “You mean like this?” showing mom the phone.
Mom: “Yes! Like that. Maybe not that it sticks out quite as much, but that’s the general idea.”
I doubled over in laughter.
Mom: “What’s so funny??”
Me: “You do know who that picture was that I showed you, don’t you?”
Mom: “No……..”
Me: “Well, just tell your hairdresser that you want to look like Alice Cullen from the Twilight series and you’ll be fine.”
Yup. My mom wants her hair like this:
So there’s only two real questions…
1) Is she Team Edward or Team Jacob… and..
2) When is she going to start sparkling?
It Started With A Simple Stencil
I’ve been wanting to repaint Vista’s room since before she was born.
In fact, I had this whole beautiful nursery planned out. But V had other plans with her early arrival.
And so her room went unpainted.
Instead I stuck up some Winnie-the-Pooh decals and, later, Disney Princess decals. But anything within her reach was quickly pulled down. So, her room was a very stark and drab, with it’s beige walls and white furniture. And it’s been like that for 4 long years.
I finally decided I was sick of looking at it and made up my mind that this summer we were giving her room a paint job. It was way past time she had a room fit for a little girl.
So, I did what any geek would do. I scoured the internet looking for ideas.
The only thing I knew was that decals were out, as far as decorating went. Other than that, I was at a complete loss as to what to do with her room.
After months (yes. really. months) of looking, I finally settled on a design of pale green walls with pink and white accents.
But, once again, V had other plans.
I was looking at a wall stencil site one evening when Vista crawled onto my lap.
She immediately pointed to a picture. ”That. I want my room to look like that.”
I brought up some other pictures for her to look at, but she wasn’t budging. She wanted fairies on her wall and the walls better be pink… or else.
So I did what any parent would do. Caved and bought the stencil package (never mind the fact I’ve never stenciled anything in my life).
And things just went downhill from there…
This is what the room looked like before we started (well, we had gotten as far as clearing stuff out of her room, removing the horrid shelving units from her closet and wall cubby and patching holes before we had an ‘Oh crap…we need before pics!’ moment)
Her armoire (complete with tacky Disney Princess decal) and bed. Her bed was one of those crib- to -daybed-to-full bed deals. I love her bed. She, of course, hates it.
Her massive dresser and the weird in-the-wall cubby hole. The cubby in the far corner originally had a wire shelving unit in it. It came that way when I bought the place and I just never bothered to remove it, despite my intense loathing for the thing. I figured since we were pulling it out to paint, it could stay out.
The closet also had a horrid wire frame shelving unit in it. Buh-bye.
Vista’s room is fairly small, with several large pieces of furniture. Too many large pieces. One of them had to go. Which kinda made me sad because I really like her furniture.
We made the decision to take the armoir out and got it as far as the living room before realizing that the thing weighed a billion pounds and there was no way we were going to be able to carry it downstairs to the spare bedroom as we had originally planned. We *might* have had an ‘Oh shit’ moment before Bil came up with the genius idea to put it in our kitchen as an extra storage pantry. Since our appliances are all white, it fits in nicely. And also makes me want to redo all the kitchen cabinets so that they’re white too. And maybe refinish the kitchen table. It’s funny how projects snowball, isn’t it?
Well, Vista’s room was no exception. It started with a simple stencil kit. It ended up being a total room makeover.
After pulling the armoire out, we decided it was probably time to get Vista a full sized mattress. She’s been complaining that her bed it too small for a while. She’s also been begging me to paint her bed pink. I really, really, don’t want to do that. Really. Like I would cry if I had to. So instead we headed to Ikea to look at new (cheap) beds. Because we’re giant suckers and our daughter is spoiled. Oh, like you wouldn’t do the same.
We wandered around the kids bedding section at Ikea for an hour. The single beds were ugly. The full size beds would be to big for her room. Well…this wasn’t working out how we had planned.
We saw a loft bed that we thought might work, but the reality is we would have to make huge modifications to it in order to make it safe for V to go up and down right now. That sounded like work. And effort. Neither of which I’m terribly fond of. But, wait! We found out that same bed can be flipped upside down! Twin bed today, loft bed if she ever get’s coordinated enough to handle it. Those crazy Swedes.
So we had our new bed. And then we decided, oh what the heck… lets find a shelving unit to go in the closet while we’re here.
And of course a new bed means new sheets and comforter.
Oh, and then we saw this adorable light fixture that was just PERFECT!
(You see where I’m going with this…right?)
Yeah.
That $80 stencil kit turned into a $1500 complete room reno.
Which we are going to invoice her for on her 18th birthday. Plus the cost of labor, because ZOMG it was a lot of work.
So….
*drumroll*
This is how the room turned out (and it’s still a work in progress).
The new bed. I hate the canopy on it. I wanted to do some pretty pink drapes or something more feminine. V and Bil love the ‘tent’. I totally got out voted.
The walls look like a pale pink in this picture…they’re actually quite a bright pink. I had a bit of buyers remorse on the paint once we got the second coat on, because, ZOMG, it’s a lot of pink.
On the to-do list is to paint the wooden bed frame in either a dark pink or white (what say you, my readers?). I just ran out of time this weekend.
The ugly cubby was painted a darker pink and turned into a little reading nook. I still need to find and put up some little book shelves on the far wall of it.
We ended up, with taking the armoire out and the new furniture arrangement, being able to put V’s toy kitchen in her room. And she still has more floor space then she had previously. Bonus.
A close up view of the cubby and the wall stencil. V was totally head over heals in love with this mushroom stencil. I’m pretty sure that means she’ll be a drug addict when she’s older.
Rather than a shelving system, typical of closets, we opted for a wooden bookcase type unit. I like how it recesses into the closet, but still has plenty of storage space.
The stencil as you walk into the room. I have to say I’m really happy with the look of the stencils. They can be a bit of a pain to place on the wall properly, then time consuming to paint (especially if you want to layer them). But the final results are amazing and totally worth the effort.
I only had time to get a couple stencils on the wall, but I will be adding more in the weeks to come.
Overall, I’m happy with how things turned out (I could have done without the attached price tag, though, but hey).
Now… to do something about those kitchen cabinets…
Staying Away
I’ve been avoiding my blog. Yes I admit it. I have.
The past few months have once again been filled with doctors appointments and med changes for V. And I’ve just found I’ve become tired of writing about it. But it tends to consume our lives, so it leaves so little else to write about.
I’m struggling to find a way of updating friends and family and documenting our journey with Vista, without turning my blog into a whiny, pity party. Because, really, in the grand scheme of things, our life is so good. Vista is, generally, healthy and happy.
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This past weekend my parents took Vista to stay with them so we could redo her room (more on that tomorrow). This is the first time she’s ever stayed with them (or anyone) for an extended period of time.
Apparently, it was an enlightening experience for them.
As much as my parents know what our life is like, and see what it’s like to parent a special needs child, they didn’t really fully comprehend our day-to-day world until they lived it for 48hrs.
Two full days where they were responsible for all her meds and dietary concerns.
Two days of managing a little girl who likes to go to bed late and wake up at ungodly hours of the morning.
Two days of dealing with her Jekyll and Hyde moods. (which my father will swear is just karma for my teenage years)
Two days of watching for signs of seizures, asthma, and heat stroke.
Two days of living our lives.
And they walked away with a new appreciation of how different it is parenting a child like Vista.
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I can tell you, here in this space, what our lives are like. And you will walk away understanding in the same way my parents understood before this weekend.
There are nuances that just cannot be conveyed.
Which leaves me in the struggle of how much to share before it becomes boring, monotonous, and repetitive.
I’m trying to figure out where the line between sharing and over sharing hides itself.
But in the mean time silence is more comforting than writing about the medical journey that comes with being Vista’s parents.
Girls with Guitars
Sunday morning
Guitar
Tutu fashionista
Rock on little girl
Putting the Kid To Bed…It’s a game the whole family can play. Even the cat.
Around here, putting Vista to bed is a team effort.
You say the world b.e.d and there’s immediate waterworks and wailing and gnashing of teeth. And Vista gets pretty upset too.
She has a distinct aversion to the thought of going to bed. Doesn’t matter how much we stick to routine, how much warning we give (or don’t give)… there’s always tears involved.
And lately she’s started insisting that Daddy come and lay down in her room while see falls asleep (because she knows that Daddy is a big sucker who’s wrapped around her little finger and there’s no way Mama’s playing that game).
But lately we’ve discovered a secret weapon.
Our gigantic ball of fur, known as Xander.
Xander gets mad props for not having clawed Vista’s face off (yet).
He’s tolerates her so-called petting. He tolerates her hugs (which involve her laying across him and using him as a pillow). He even tolerates her trying to pick him up and put him in the microwave (charming child of mine).
Xander was a SPCA rescue that we picked up. We had no idea, really, what we were getting.
What we did get was a giant suck, a proficient mouser (judging by the number of decapitated mice he leaves around the yard *gag*), a peace keeper (remind me to tell you the story about the time he broke up a dog fight), and so much more. But from the moment we brought V home, he was her cat.
And these days he’s our bedtime saviour.
As soon as the cat hears V start demanding that Bil sleep with her, he runs into her room, jumps on her bed, and curls up at her feet. At that point Bil becomes persona non grata. She settles right down, no more arguments, no more whining.
The other night she woke up at 1am crying. I went in to try and calm her and find out what was wrong. She wasn’t having any of it. But eventually Xander heard her, woke up, and came took up his spot on her feet. She immediately told me to get out (no, not even kidding) and went back to sleep.
He usually doesn’t stay long in her room. Just long enough to see her settled. Then he comes back out and takes up his normal spot in the living room.
I’ve never met an animal as perceptive as he is.
But he was definitely meant to be part of this family.
Mojo
I’ve been struggling with the whole blogging mojo lately.
I come up with these amazing post ideas while I’m out and about with Vista and all her activities. But, by the time I sit down in the evening to write, they’re gone. My mind is like a sieve, lately.
So when I ordered V a bunch of tees from the new Pigtail Pals line (OMG, cute!!), I also ordered myself a couple of their notebooks.
I figured with a cute little girly pic on it, Bil’s less likely to abscond with it for his geek notes.
Now when I’m out and have a flash of brilliance I can write it down for later…hopefully…if I remember.
So be prepared to be dazzled by my blogging brilliance again, soon. Or something like that.
Sudafed Is My Gateway Drug
I keep coming to my blog wanting to write something. Something cute and fluffy with cute and fluffy things in it. Like a post about my dogs and cats and how cute and fluffy they are. Well, make that dogs and cat. Because the other cat may be cute and fluffy but she’s dumb as a post and I’d rather she was stuffed and sitting on my fireplace mantle, but since she’s Bil’s cat, that hasn’t happened yet. Nor have I fed her to the local coyote pack, although I’ve been sorely tempted on more than one occasion. But then Bil would get all whiney about how I killed his stupid cat, and blah blah blah… so, she’s still alive. For now.
Where was I? Oh right. Cute and fluffy.
Yeah, not feeling so cute and fluffy. Well, maybe fluffy, but I totally blame the local bakery for that.
I’m like my own version of the seven dwarfs, lately. Bitchy, whiney, sneezy, wannabe doc, fluffy, zombie, and doped up.
And all I really want to do is whine about how hard this parenting gig is, right now. We’re starting to rack up frequent flyer miles at our local ER. And you know it’s bad when the doctors look at your kids chart and start discussing your opinion on possible treatment options. I’m still waiting for my medical degree to magically appear in the mail.
Remember how, before you ever had kids, people would tell you how hard it is? And you’d look and them and think “ZOMG…shut up and get over it. It’s a kid. How hard can it be?”
Yeah. Totally eating crow now.
The universe thinks it’s funny. Me? Not so much. I find it’s sense of humor rather lacking, these days. Along with the amout of sleep I’m getting. Which tonight I can fully blame on the Sudafed I took before bed. That stuff makes most people drowsy. You know the whole ‘don’t opperate heavy machinery or you might poke someone’s eye out and then you’ll be sorry, but it won’t be our fault because we told you not to do it right here on the box’ warning? Yeah, doesn’t apply to me. Apparently, Sudafed jacks me right up. Like RIGHT up. Like holy hell I haven’t slept tonight and WEEEEEE I feel fucking awesome jacked up. So… uh…yeah, not taking it before bed EVER again.
And I probably shouldn’t be allowed to blog while under the influence of sinus cold meds either.
I don’t see a warning for THAT on the fucking box.
A New Freedom
The past couple weeks have flown by. We’ve been immersed in a flurry of assessments and activities for Vista.
She started preschool this week, with her aide, Lynda. It went better than everyone thought it would. Lynda has been a huge help in managing her tantrums and heading them off before they begin. She’s been able to very quickly pick up Vista’s cues that she’s getting overwhelmed.
And for the first time, yesterday, Vista was able to tell another kid at her therapy group “No. Stop. I’m playing with that toy,” rather than dissolving into an instant puddle of hysterics. It’s something so small, but such a huge thing in V’s world for her to be able to do that.
I’ve also discovered that when you’re trying to dress a kicking, screaming, squirming, crying child who is refusing to leave an activity, it’s MUCH easier with another set of hands.
Having Vista’s aide has been such a huge stress release, I can’t even begin to describe it. Even the ability to go out and do things with V in the community has been huge. It’s a freedom we’ve never experienced before.
We also received Vista’s IPP (Individual Program Plan) today. This is a document where each of her therapists lay out the specific, measurable goals for Vista over the next few months and how we’re going to achieve them. It also gives her aide a framework of things to be working on with Vista in the classroom and out in the community.
In addition to her aide, V will be working with a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, a behavior consultant, and a learning support teacher. They’re also going to be adding a speech therapist into that mix, as well.
It means our days are booked solid.
But?
It’s so worth it. We’re already starting to see small improvements in her behavior.
The fact that I’m not so stressed and butting heads with her all the time, also means the quality of my relationship with my daughter has improved dramatically.
And that makes us both happy.
Don’t Expect This To Be Coherent
I haven’t been purposely ignoring my blog.
Life got in the way. It happens sometimes.
Vista finally has an aide. We met her last week for the first time and she’s lovely. I think she’s going to work out well. She’ll be spending a few hours every morning with V, either working with her at home or going to preschool or other activities with her.
We were supposed to have the aide here this week, but we had to put it all on hold because V’s been sick. (I believe that’s referred to as Murphy’s Law. That Murphy is a giant douche. He probably didn’t like puppies either. Jerk).
It started with a mild cough Sunday night that progressed to a fever hitting 107 on Monday …and a little bit of mommy freak out when the temp was so high that the thermometer couldn’t read it. Did you know some digital thermometers have a max temp reading, after which it just says ‘High’, which – note to manufacturers- isn’t really fucking helpful? Yeah, neither did I. It’s something I would be happy still not knowing.
She also had her first febrile seizure. That would be what ended up prompting hospital visit #1.
Three hospital visits later and we have a diagnosis of pneumonia with a throat inflammation that caused her to start coughing 100 times a minute. When she gets sick, she doesn’t do it half-assed.
It’s been a long sleepless week.
The cough syrup with codeine, that the ER doc prescribed for her cough, is my new best friend. And Vista actually likes to take it. Yes, you read that right. My child who fights every med we give her, willingly takes the cough syrup. I don’t get it, either. It’s a fight to give her Children’s Tylenol, but this disgusting cough syrup is OK in her books. *sigh* Whatever. I don’t have to fight to get her to take it. This is a good thing.
Unfortunately, with her being so sick, it means I’ve had to cancel my trip for next week down to California with @FlyGirlWS, to see a taping of the Ellen show. Which sucks. Big time. *insert giant sad panda here*
So with all that going on, even the thought of blogging takes too many brain cells.
I promise I’ll be back when my I can think coherently again. Which will hopefully be soon.
Therapy. We Needs It
Conversations in our house are never normal. Sometimes they’re weird. Sometimes they’re scary. Sometimes they’re borderline psychotic. Kinda like me.
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*standing in the kitchen talking to Bil while I fill a glass with ice*
Me: “Do I ever scare you? I mean, do you ever worry that one day you’re going to come home to find I’ve finally totally and completely lost it?”
Bil: “There’s an ice pick in the drawer over there….”
Me: “Right. Okay then.”
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Bil: “God… another damn email with Microsoft trying to convince the world how awesome SharePoint is.”
Me: “Isn’t it awesome?”
Bil: “Have you read my blog and twitter stream??”
Me: “Well…why do you specialize in it, then?”
Bil: “You can still specialize in something if it sucks.”
Me: “Good point. I want to specialize in something that sucks too…. What sucks?”
Bil: “Pauly Shore?”
Me: “Perfect. Going to watch Encino Man now.”
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*Vista’s playing with her toys and she has Little People horse. She’s making neighing sounds that are progressively getting louder and angrier sounding*
Me: “Vista, it sounds like you have a very disagreable horse there. Maybe he needs to be put down.”
Bil: “I wonder if they make the Fisher Price Glue Factory? *in his best announcer voice* Now with real glue sounds!”
Me: “I meant she had to put the toy down, not kill the horse…”
Bil: “Oh…right….”
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So, yeah… if anyone can recommend a good therapist…
