childrens services

When Phd = Phucking Horrible Doctor

I thought my first post back after BlogHer@Home was going to be a wonderful “we had such a good time, thanks everyone, thanks sponsors” touchy-feely post.  I did sit down to start writing one this morning.

Yeah, that was before my morning turned to crap thanks to a doctor who has her head so far up her ass I’m sure she can see her own tonsils.

A bit of background here.  (And if you don’t like TMI, skip this paragraph).  Vista suffers from chronic constipation and, unfortunately, sometimes her bowels get completely blocked and back up into her stomach, which then causes her to throw up.  A lot.  The past couple weeks we’ve been trying again to slowly ween her off formula and onto rice milk.  The previous two times we tried the switch resulted in a bowel blockage, so we were trying a very slow introduction this time.  Well, it didn’t work.  So we’ve been dealing with a bit of puking the past few days while we get her sorted again.

So… on to idiot doctor story.  We were supposed to have an appointment with Dr.C today to have some assessments done for Vista to try and access some resources in the big city that aren’t available to us, living in a small town.  Half an hour before we were to leave, though, Vista started throwing up.  So I called the doctors office and apologized profusely saying “I’m so sorry.  I know this is short notice, but Vista is throwing up, so there’s no way I can make the hour drive into the city.”

No big deal, right?  Yeah, you would think.  Well receptionist puts me on hold and Dr. C gets on the phone.  I start explaining how sorry I am that I can’t make it in.  But driving with a puking two-year-old is out of the question.  The doc quickly cut me off and what she said next made my blood run cold.

“I don’t think you understand the importance of this appointment.  If you miss this appointment no one is going to want to help you.  And quite frankly, I am deeply, deeply concerned.  It is critical that you make this appointment today”

<insert me trying, once again, to explain the logistics of a one hour drive in a hot truck with a puking child>

“You have a decision to make.  If you decide not to attend this appointment, then I have no choice but to discuss this with **** {the other person we were meeting with to discuss available resources for Vista} and I really feel we’ll have to contact Children’s Services about this.”

<insert me spluttering going ‘Excuse me???? Children’s Services???  For WHAT???>

“You are obviously in denial and I am deeply, deeply concerned.  If you decide not to make this appointment then it shows your refusal to get help for you and your daughter and I feel that Children’s Services will need to be informed”

She signed off the call by telling me that there would be a $50 cancellation fee and would I like to be invoiced for that.

I hung up the phone and promptly started sobbing hysterically.  She was going to call Children’s Services on me??  WTF?  Was I not the mother that stayed by her child’s bedside every night in the hospital?  In fact I’ve never spent more than 6 hours (and never a full night) away from my daughter.  Was I not the mom who pushed the doctors to properly diagnose and treat my daughter’s reflux?  Am I not the mom who’s spent the past year working with specialist of every size, shape, and description working to make sure that all Vista’s milestones are met due to her developmental delays?  Am I not the one who pushed and pushed and finally got an MRI ordered that proved we were right in our suspicion that she had some brain issue causing her delays.  Yeah… And yet you want to call Children’s Services on me?  FOR WHAT?  Fuck you bitch.

We’ve had just recently started the process of switching to a new doctor  (an easy 5minute drive, rather than an hour on the highway).  This new doctor is amazing.  We first met him in the NICU after Vista was born.  He was our favorite resident. So when he told us he was going be starting a family practice in our small town, we were elated.  Unfortunately, due to various factors, that took 2 years.  He’s still managed to see Vista a handful of times over the past two years, and is always great with her.  He also has a background in neuroscience, which is a huge plus for us now with her mid-line brain issues.

So after today’s phone call, I called his receptionist and explained what had happened with the other doc.   My mom came with me and watched V, while Dr. F took his lunch hour to sit down and chat with me about what had happened.  As soon as I mentioned that Vista had been throwing up, he stopped me and asked “Is she OK?  Do you want me to take a look at her?”  I must have looked surprised because his next question was “Didn’t the other doc ask if Vista was OK?”  I realized that at no time had my other doctor even inquired if Vista was alright.  She had absolutely no interest in anything other than us making that appointment.  The reason for this became abundantly clear when Bil called old doc and told her to transfer all our files to Dr.F and the first thing the bitch starts in on is a schedule of fees.  It’s all about the money with her.  Nothing more.

Dr. F listened, took notes, and assured me that I had nothing to worry about.  He had watched Bil and I advocate for Vista in a variety of arenas over the past two years.  If anyone called me from Children’s services I was to direct the call to his office and he would take care of it.  It was so amazing to feel listened to.  Once we were done he walked with me out into the waiting room.  Mom and Vista had gone out to walk around so he grabbed his shoes and told the other patient in the waiting room “Sorry, I’ll be right back.  There’s a little girl I have to say hi to”.  Once we found them, he immediately knelt down to Vista’s level and started talking to her about the flowers she had picked (I don’t even want to know from where) and how pretty they smelled and how they matched her shoes.  He is just such an amazing doctor and we feel so lucky to have found him.

Two doctors. The same medical program from the same university.  One is all about the money.  The other is all about the patients.  Take a guess  who will never see a red cent from me or anyone I know.

*addendum: I’m really, strongly considering filing a formal complaint with our Health Region.  I feel this doctor tried to bully me into an appointment when it was not in the best interest of my child.  Threatening a mother with Children’s Services is just low.  And slimy.  And something no RESPECTABLE doctor would do. *

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