insomnia

A Rose By Any Other Name

My brain wanders to weird places when I’m awake at 3am.  (Why, hello, insomnia).

It’s when I do some of my best thinking and come up with cool ideas, though.  That time when you’re half awake, half asleep, and you’re not worrying or focused on anything in particular.  All sorts of strange stuff pops into my head.  Like…

Have you ever wondered what you would have named your kid if you didn’t give them the name you did?

Vista was always Vista for us.  There never was another name.

But sometimes I wonder what she would have been if we hadn’t come up with that name.

Vienna?

Virgina?

(yes, I seem to have a small obsession with V names.  Don’t judge).

Or what about people you meet who don’t seem to fit their names?  Who do you think they should be?

My nephew, Sheldon, is like that, for me.  The name just seems to big for him.  And yet I can’t find a way to shorten it.  Shel?  Nah.  Don?  Definitely not.

Maybe I’ll just start calling him Bob…

Insomnia

“Maaaaaaammmmaaaaa”

*whimper*

“Maaaaammmmaaaaa… I dropped my flashlight…”

I roll over and look at the clock.

2:22am

What a weird time to wake up.

I can hear V’s whimpers in the other room threatening to become sobs.

*sigh*  So much for sleep.

I slip into her room, pick up the flashlight off the floor and tuck it in with her again.  She curls around it and falls back asleep.

My odd child.  She cuddles that flashlight like most kids cuddle a teddy bear.

Quietly, I close her door and start roaming around the house.  Too awake to go back to sleep.

Suddenly it strikes me that Bil isn’t around.  Not in the bedroom. Hasn’t fallen asleep in the living room.  Odd.  I check for his car.  Gone.  I look at the clock again.

2:34am

I find my cell and dial his number.

“What’s wrong?” he answers the phone.

“Nothing. Where are you?”

I can hear the sound of the car radio in the background.

“On the road”

“You’re going to work already?  It’s 2 o’clock in the freakin morning.”

“Yeah, well, I got a couple hours of sleep and then woke up.  It didn’t seem worth going back to sleep for two hours, so I decided to catch up on some work.”

We talk for a few more minutes, before I say my goodbyes, hang up the phone, wander over to my laptop, and flip up the lid.

As it boots up I look at the time.

2:43am

I wonder if this is the legacy we’re leaving to our daughter.

Insomnia.

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