magic number

It’s Time

My friend Melissa came over for coffee yesterday.  It’s a weekly ritual we’ve had since our girls were only a few months old.  A break from the usual routines to stop and enjoy someone’s company.

It’s funny how with some people, you never run out of things to talk about.

And I think that’s the sign of a good friend.  When the most mundane details of your life are interesting and important to them.  And vice versa.

As we sat chatting yesterday, I quietly told Melissa that I had finally handed in the papers to qualify Vista for an aide.

“This is a good thing,” she said, leaning across the table.  “It’s time.”

It’s time.

Yes it is.

When we first started down this path of diagnosis with Vista, we were told by several medical professionals “well, I wouldn’t worry too much about her delays.  Most kids normalize around the age of 5  and you can’t even tell there was any issues when they were younger.”

Part of me has been holding on tight to that.  Tighter than tight.

It’s was like a mantra.  “She’ll turn 5 and then she’ll be OK.  We just have to wait until she’s 5.”

I know it sounds ridiculous reading it.  But it was that light at the end of the tunnel.  Five was the magic number.

And so I put off getting an aide.  After all, we really didn’t need one.  By 5 or so she’d catch up.  I mean, look at her.  She looks perfectly normal.  She’s not one of those kids that needs an aide.

Only she does.

And it’s time.

Time to let go and realize that Vista isn’t going to magically be all better on her 5th birthday.

Time to admit that we need help and we can’t keep doing it all on our own.

It’s time.

Only… I wish it wasn’t.

 Its Time

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