Neverending Story

The Neverending Story

I was going to post a really hysterically funny video of Vista today. At least Bil and I found it hysterically funny. But then again, it’s well known to the world that we have a sick and twisted sense of humor.

I know, you’re sitting there going ‘OK, well, if this video is so damn funny, where is it??’

Well, here’s the thing.

I’ve decided not to post it.

The video was something along the lines of this, with a little less Will Ferrell, less scripting, and a lot more of me doubled over laughing in the background.

But after having CPS called on us last November, we’re quite frankly a little gun shy about putting anything out there that might smack of anything less than perfect parenting.

And then I think about that and it REALLY. PISSES. ME. OFF.

I’m not perfect.  Show me a parent who is.  And yet, here I am trying to live up to some impossible standard because somebody who knows nothing about me decided he should get some say on how I parent my child.

Now every time I’m out with Vista, I’m crossing my fingers that she doesn’t have a meltdown, and that someone won’t decide to stick there nose into something that is, quite frankly, none of their business.

I’m finding a lot of things don’t get done these days.  If I drive somewhere and Vista falls asleep before we get there?  Rather than wake her up, take her in the store, and chance an outburst, I turn around and go home.  Because?  It’s not worth the risk.

I walk around on egg shells hoping that no one will find fault that’s not there.

And I thought at first it was just in this small town we lived in.  I even tossed the idea around of moving somewhere new.

But then I realized, it’s not the town.  It’s me.  This… thing… has pervaded to the very core of my parenting philosophy.

And now it’s invaded my blog.

It’s like I’m living in Fantasia and being hunted by the Nothing.

This need to censor is at direct odds with the person I am naturally.

I am irreverent.  I am risque, at times.  Ditto for controversial.  That’s who I’ve always been.

I’m not someone to toe the line or follow the norm.

And yet I find myself doing exactly that, because I will do anything to protect my child from ignorant people who think they know more about her than I do.

 The Neverending Story

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