Random Ramblings

VistaSprinkler 199x300 Random RamblingsI had a great weekend.  Yesterday we were out in the sun.  We got Vista to play in the sprinkler for the first time, which seems stupid, but was hugely exciting for us.  When you have a kid who goes into sensory overload in a shower or a spray park, getting her to voluntarily play in a sprinkler is a big, big deal.  Isn’t she cute?? (Yeah, I’m a little bit biased.  What’s your point?). And yeah, I know her bathing suit is too small on her, but, the kid won’t stop growing out of her clothes.  I need to get a clothing sponsor for her or something.  Seriously.
While we were celebrating this little milestone with her, we were silently doing a countdown of minutes until my parents arrive and we could go out for the evening.  Not that we don’t love our daughter and enjoy spending time with her.  But well…It was so nice to go to dinner and a show.  Bil and I both agreed that we really needed it and we should do it every week, which isn’t remotely realistic, but hey, we can dream, right?

I booked us dinner reservations at the new Calgary Tower restaurant called Sky 360.  The room rotates as you have dinner so you get a full view of the city.  Fun!  And the food?  *swoon*  Amazing.  I may, however, have … forgotten… to mention to my darling husband that this was a bit of an upper scale restaurant (with the price tags to prove it).  After he got over the initial sticker shock, he decided that the ride around the tower while we ate (although I think the waitress got tired of him asking if she could make the ride go faster) and the view (oh what a lovely view of the mountains) was worth it and let me order what ever I wanted.  Yay!  But the cost of dinner *cough* $200 *cough, gag splutter* means this will be a once a year thing.  (princess pout)

After dinner we headed down to the show.  FANTASTIC!  If you ever get the chance to see Evil Dead: The Musical, go.  Funny, irreverent, blood, gore, half naked women, and maybe a little girl-on-girl action thrown in for good measure.  Oh!  And I discovered,  that Bullwinkle is actually a Candarian demon.  Who knew?

We made the hour trek home to relieve my parents of their burden babysitting duties.  Vista was great for them.  No crying at all (which I didn’t really expect her to, she loves Grandma).  But I guess there was a major puking episode.  We have our theories on that.  One of them being, when ever we change something on her, we have one of these episodes.  Last time Bil went away for a week on business, she puked every day he was gone.  He comes home, she’s fine again.  So possibly a stress reaction in her?  (when I was a kid, if I got too stressed, I would literally get myself so worked up to the point I’d get sick.  Could this be the same thing?)  But this is part of the reason I don’t leave her with teen-aged babysitters.  Who wants to clean up a kid (and an entire room) covered in projectile vomit?

We ended up not getting to bed until midnight last night.  Imagine my joy when my darling little girl decided that she missed her mommy so much that she wanted to get up at 1am to visit with her.  Yay!  (insert heavy sarcasm in here).  Coaxing, cajoling, begging did not work to get her back down, so we got up and went to the living room for a few hours.  I know there are people who are going to ask why I didn’t just leave her in bed and let her cry it out.  Those would be the people who have never spent an hour, in the middle of the night, bathing your kid and disinfecting her room after she cries herself to the point of puking (which takes all of about two minutes).  So, no…not an option unfortunately.

This morning her Early Intervention worker was scheduled to come for a visit.  She called me at 9am to tell me she was bringing Vista’s speech pathologist and the areas new physiotherapist.  Oh joy.  Luckily we avoided major meltdowns during the visit as Vista knows and likes her EI worker, and has worked with the speech pathologist before, so only physio was new to her.  She did, predictably, stick to her ‘1 hour’ rule, where after an hour she decides she’s had enough stress and would like to have a bottle and go to bed, right now, please and thank you, and if we don’t go right now, I’m going to turn into a Candarian demon, like seriously, so woman, move your ass, get me a bottle and get me into that bed, like yesterday.  Not that she actually says that, because, you know, she’s only two and doesn’t talk very well.  But that’s TOTALLY what she’s thinking.  I’m her mother.  I know these things.

The visit was…meh.  I get frustrated with the speech lady.  Her answer to all my questions today was: Yes, Vista does have speech delays.  Yes, she has some motor processing issues that are not helping those speech delays.  Just keep doing what you’re doing.

Grrrr.  What I am doing is OBVIOUSLY NOT WORKING!  In 6 months we’ve seen very little improvement in this area of her development.  So frustrated, I definitely am.  Luckily this lady is on her way out, so I’m hoping whoever replaces her will have some more ideas for us to work with.

The new physio didn’t say much of anything.  The EI worker and I talked about how crappy Vista’s balance is right now (as in she was standing at the coffee table this morning and suddenly fell over.  No rhyme, no reason.   You should see her arms and legs right now.  Scratched, scabbed, and scarred from falling so much, lately).  But no suggestions from physio lady.  *sigh*

So I am frustrated.  It hurts me to watch my kid walking on a perfectly flat surface and do a face plant.  You want wrap them in bubble wrap to keep them safe.  But I know that won’t help.

We are going to try some new shoes though.  We think her summer sandals may just not be supportive enough, so I’m going to get some runner style sandals, to see if that helps her walking any.

Part of the problem is that she’s had another huge growth spurt so she has no idea where her center of balance is.  Last week her feet were just in a size 8.  This week, she’s almost out of a size 9.  So yeah, she needs new shoes anyways. And although the fact that she bangs her head going in and out of her playhouse now, because she hasn’t figured out she’s had a growth spurt,  is sort of funny, I’m afraid it’s going to leave a permanent bruise on her head.

In other non-whiny related news… I got Ali’s new site design up for her on the weekend.  Yay!  You should definitely go read her blog.  She’s got a great post up right now on a very controversial topic, but she addresses it so well.  She was the super easiest client to work with ever.  Knew what she wanted and was able to provide great feedback as we worked to keep the design process flowing, so it took a week rather than the usual month to do a site.  I seriously wish all the people I do work for were this awesome.  Now go read her site.  Shoo!

Judging Those Who Judge

We live in a small town.  It’s a fairly close knit community where if you don’t know someone directly, you probably know someone who does.

Being in a small town though sometimes means coming face-to-face with narrow minded thinking.  When I lived in the big city and came across people like that, I could scratch them off my ‘get to know’ list, and move on to other people and places.  In a small town that’s not always so easy.  Because if I do what I’d really like to do and tell someone exactly what I think of them, it’ll probably come back to bite me.

I take Vista to a physiotherapy group session every other week.  It’s supposed to be a good chance to chat with other parents who’s children are facing similar challenges and an opportunity for the kids to work on their gross motor skills and sensory integration issues.  Which is great in theory.  And the physiotherapist is really nice.  So are the other therapists and early intervention workers who come to work with the kids.  The problem is the other moms.

They’re complete bitches.

There.  I said it.

Oh, I know… you’re thinking “Well, Jenn…perhaps it’s not them that’s the problem?”.  Yeah.  I was wondering the same thing until an incident a couple of weeks ago.  But let me back up here…

The very first time I took Vista to this group, I hadn’t even had time to take off my shoes at the door before the other mom’s had sent one of their group to tell me to leave.  I wish I was exaggerating.  After I explained that the PT had invited us to be there, her only response was:

“Oh.  Well.  The other mom’s didn’t think you belonged here so asked me to come tell you to leave… but I guess if the PT invited you…”

Yeah.  I know.  Charming.

I figured it would get better after they knew we were supposed to be there.  It didn’t.  I found out why when one of the other moms came up to me after we’d been going to this group for a while.

Other Mom: “So, what are you doing here”

Me: “Pardon?”

OM: “Why are you coming to this group?”

Me: “Because the PT felt it would be beneficial for Vista to attend.”

OM: “OK.  But what’s wrong with her?  She looks fine to me.  I just don’t think you guys really belong here.”

And so we got to the crux of the matter.  Vista ‘looked’ too normal for their tastes.

vback Judging Those Who JudgeA couple weeks later, the PT having got wind of this conversation, took all the mom’s into a back room and had us talk about our kids.  The other mom’s were more than a little surprised to find out that we face some of the same challenges with Vista as they do with their children.  We had a long discussion about ‘not judging a book by it’s cover’ and how some issues aren’t always immediately visible unless you know what to look for.  Vista, for example, can walk, but has balance issues and locks her legs for balance rather than using core muscles.  This create problems with running or jumping.  She also has midline issues where she favors one side of her body over the other.  But all the other mom’s could see is: She’s walking, so she’s fine.

They were still cool towards me, until the week we got Vista’s MRI results back.  When I shared that we had found out that she was missing a membrane in her brain and the other MRI findings, all of the sudden I had a new group of best friends and I was instantly accepted.  I was stunned.  Vista was still the same little girl she was the day she walked into that group, but now that she had something verifiable wrong…well…that changed everything.

Ever the optimist I thought perhaps the mom’s had learned not to judge to quickly.  I was quickly proven wrong.

The next week a woman from the local Hutterite colony came with her daughter.  When we arrived I saw her sitting off to the side on her own, so went over to chat with her.  She was incredibly sweet and her daughter – adorable! But the other moms, true to form, didn’t even acknowledge her or speak to her.  She told me the other day that she’s decided not to return to the group.  And it’s not like I don’t understand why.  It just makes me sad.

And in a small town, there are no other alternatives.  Either you go to this group, or none at all.

So as much as I love my small town life… sometimes the people who go with it really suck.

Find Me


I’m Connected