theboysmama

Grifting vs Gifting

Way back in July I wrote a post about someone.  I took it down a few months later because, thankfully, it no longer seemed relevant.

Today, I republished it after it was brought to my attention that this person is back to her old patterns.  Same person, different name.

I kind of dread Christmas, in a way, for this reason.  It’s a holiday filled with generosity and giving.  It also a holiday filled with scammers, grifters, and con artists.

I’m not saying this person is any of those things.

I’m just asking you to do your due diligence before you donate.

If you really want to do good, there are lots of registered charities and organizations that would love your donations (your local food bank would be a huge one, this time of year).

But please be cautious of people who constantly ask for money on the internet.

I understand that desire to help, but it’s easy for people to create false identities and stories online to take advantage of people’s good nature.

The only reason I post this is to save my friends (who I know are all generous beyond belief) from being taken advantage of during the holidays.

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So here we go again…

First we have to set the story

nomoney Grifting vs Gifting

settingthestory Grifting vs Gifting

motherdying Grifting vs Gifting

Then comes the ‘ask’…

donate Grifting vs Gifting

And when that doesn’t get anywhere, you simply (and subtly) tweet each child’s wishlist

amazonwishlist Grifting vs Gifting

The request for retweets about her plight

retweet Grifting vs Gifting

Annnnd…the inevitable discrepencies

job2s Grifting vs Gifting

 

So, the money at her job is pretty good, but she’s so broke she can’t afford gifts for her kids, but can afford a new kindle, buy books for her kindle,  and is saving her gift cards to buy the even newer model (rather then buying gifts for her children)…. To each their own, I guess.

kindlebrandnew Grifting vs Gifting

kindlebooks Grifting vs Gifting

kindlenew Grifting vs Gifting

kindlemoney Grifting vs Gifting

I’m Getting Old

(**This is a long post.  More a novel.  It’s definitely a rant.  And is being written in full ‘Jenn is a bitch’ mode.  In fact let me preface this whole post with the comment that, yes, I am an unapologetic raving bitch.  It’s who I am.  I call them like I see them.  I completely lack any sense of tact and my filter is broken.  So if you leave a comment saying anything to the effect of “You’re a bitch”, my response is going to be “yeah…and????”  Consider yourself warned .  **)

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I’ll let you in on a well known secret.  I’m a GenX’er.  Yeah, that generation that are turning into your parents? That’s me.

And I’m at that age now where young people irritate me.

I’m not talking little kids (well, some of them irritate me too, but that has more to do with the way their parents are raising them than the actual kids).

I’m talking that select group of GenY’ers who are over-entitled brats.

You know… the ones who give all people in their 20’s a bad name.  The ones who expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter.  They want everything in life and they want it now and they want YOU to give it to them.

People like that make me want to reach out and hug someone…so tight their head pops off.

I was having this conversation with a friend, yesterday.  We both have younger brothers who are the worst of the worst GenY’ers.  So maybe that’s why we tend to be more sensitive to this.  We’ve been living it for years.  Watching our siblings with their hand out, expecting other people to take care of them, while we did it the hard way – on our own, like adults.

And what really baffles me about these people is they don’t even understand why they shouldn’t expect everything to be given to them.  You can try to explain to them for hours, but they will never get it.

If you follow me on Twitter, then you know where I’m going with this.

Yesterday I called someone out very publicly on this very thing.

I was told I was a heartless bitch for doing it. Because someone is in NEEEEEEEED and how can we not give and support that poooooor pooooor poooooooooooor girl.

While I can’t disagree with the heartless bitch part, it has nothing to do with why I said what I said to this person.

This is not the first or second or even third time this person has asked for money.  By my count (and these are only the instances I know about) it’s the fourth.

She always has some good reason why she’s in crisis and needs money now.

But the fact is, this happens every couple of months.

And each time, heart strings are pulled and people send her money wanting to help.

Because rather than doing something about her situation, she would rather stick out her hand and ask other people to give her their hard earned money.

And when I pointed this out to her, last night, her response was:  ” But it’s always when I really need it. …because I’m poor. I just feel that there may be some good hearted people out there. ”

So… here we are.  The “I need it, you should give it to me” mentality.

And when I asked why her situation was always everyone else’s problem I got the response “That’s just what websites like wuah* are for”  (*wuah is the Wish Upon a Hero site).

*head explodes*

So you take all this, add the numerous discrepancies** (see below) in her stories, and the fact that she has publicly admitted that she was a drug addict… and I’m heartless for not sending her money?  No.  No I’m not.

I would much rather give my money to to people and organizations who are going to use the money to change lives (theirs or others).

I would much rather give people a hand up, instead of repeatedly pandering to people who want a handout.

I really feel it’s situations like this that jade people and make it difficult for legitimate organizations, who could do such good work, to fundraise anymore.

And that?  Breaks my cold unfeeling heart.

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**Some of the discrepancies I’m referencing:

  1. When she requested money in early May, she was questioned about a previous WUAH request for money that was on the site and said her son was going to have open heart surgery.  Her response *she is mama2boys2011* (all comments on this WUAH page have since been deleted, but a cached version can be found here):
    am7 Im Getting OldWhen asked about this on Twitter though, this was the response:
    am5 Im Getting Old
  2.  She says in the WUAH video in the latest request that they gave their 30 day notice on their apartment after putting a deposit on a house.  But on twitter she says this:
    am8 Im Getting Old
  3. Single mom?
    am11 Im Getting Oldor

    am12 Im Getting Old

    ** Travis is her fiance or boyfriend
  4. Drugs?
    am13 Im Getting Oldoram14 Im Getting Old
    am15 Im Getting Old
  5. And then there’s this.
    am16 Im Getting Old
I’m not say she’s a bad person.  I’m just saying do your due diligence and make educated decisions before handing over your hard earned money to anyone.

**UPDATED:  AtomicMommy is now theboysmama on twitter.  So if you see her asking for money / donations / gifts (as she does on a regular basis) please do your research and consider carefully **

 

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