wwe diva

The Next WWE Diva

I’ve always held this theory about kids.  The cuter they are, the more evil they turn out to be.  So far my darling Vista isn’t turning out to be an exception to this rule.  Extra cute, with a side of exceedingly spoiled, add a dash of attitude, a splash of stubbornness, with a midline brain defect for good measure, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I’m currently sporting the latest look in forehead bumps after she headbutted me while I was taking her out of the bathtub. Yes, it was a calculated move on her part.  Yes, it hurt.  Yes, I’m a big pansy. What of it?

Bil and I have been struggling for a couple months with how to control these outbursts.  She will be cuddling with you and then suddenly hit you.  She bites when she gets frustrated (that one we nipped in the bud as soon as it cropped up, so now we’re only dealing with her biting things and not people).  If you try to stop her from hitting, or throwing things, it only amplifies the outbursts.

wwe The Next WWE DivaPart of this I know is just her being two years old (thank you terrible twos) and coming from two very stubborn, opinionated, independent parents (damn you genetics!).  The other part of this, we suspect, is coming from her malformed corpus callosum.  We suspect she may have face processing difficulties, which means when you make the ‘mad face’ she doesn’t recognize it as such and smiles and hits you again. At this rate we’ll have the next WWE Diva on our hands in no time (really, is two years old too early to train wrestling moves?)

We’ve tried various methods of dealing with this.  Time outs, restraining, teaching alternatives (“don’t hit, pat nice” which has been semi effective)… you name it.  Nothing seems to be really, truly working.  We’re getting frustrated, she’s getting frustrated.  It’s not a good situation.

So, this is where we turn to the experts (ahh… that would be you, dear internet).

How do I say this?  HAAAAAAALLLLLPPP!  *ahem* Which translated means:  What the hell worked for your kids and what are we doing wrong?

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